Q:

Visualizing the Rebbe during marital relations

Rabbi Slifkin wrote in a recent post that:

... in some Chabad chosson/kallah classes, they  are taught that
  during climax, they should visualize the Rebbe.

Slifkin brings the writings of Rabbi Teberdovich (spelling?) as a source who writes:

בשעת מעשה ראוי שלא לדבר אלא לחשוב אותיות התורה ולצייר דמות הרבי .
"At the time of the act it is fitting not to speak but rather to think of the letters of the Torah and to form an image of the Rebbe"

Given the problem of visualising someone else during marital relations (mishna berura חלק ב' רמ:ט) how is this a practice deemed acceptable in chabad? If it is indeed acceptable (as the 'chabad rabbi' link suggests) is it accepted by chabad i.e. is it normative that chatan/kallah learn this in their classes?

A:

I can attest to what Rabbi Slifkin claims.  I took my kallah classes from a Chabad rebbetzin and was shocked and bothered when told I must think of the Rebbe during what they refer to as  "the Mitzvah".  She said specifically it must happen towards the end of intercourse right before you know your husband is going to be "done" so to speak.  I was troubled because in my mind it seemed wrong to think of anyone besides my husband during such an intimate and private moment. I was told that also a kallah must cover her hair with at least a snood during "the mitzvah" and it must be completely dark as well.  She also taught that one is required to think of the rebbe while under the chuppah and while at the mikvah.  I am not Chabad so I have chosen not to keep this custom.  

