Last night I was watching a movie (Napoleon Dynamite -- I thought I would hate it, but it was funny! Not amazing, but definitely funny. Also, is that really what Idaho looks like?? It's amazing! What mountains are those?). And near the end, at one ay em, my doorbell rang.

Presumably it was my downstairs neighbor. I didn't answer it. But I did then turn down the TV (I hadn't realized it was loud, but I guess maybe it was.)

There was more commotion going on last night, like a wildly yapping dog, which I don't have time to go into at the moment (I'm still at work, but leaving as soon as my car's warmed up.) But it was okay that I didn't answer the door, right? I felt guilty afterwards. But I had no reason to, right? I am under no obligation to answer my door at ONE in the morning, right? If she had rung the doorbell a second time, I would have gone downstairs to answer it. But she didn't, so I guess there was no emergency.

She did slam the door very loudly several times -- like, building-shaking loudly, the kind that makes me scared and makes my heart pound in my chest. I don't know if she was mad at me, or mad at the yapping dog. I also don't know if the dog was in her apartment (I am 85% sure it was, and has been for several days, and as far as I can tell, yapping wildly the whole time -- shouldn't he have lost his voice by now?) or in a neighboring apartment or if she thought it was in MY apartment.

Shortly after the doorbell, the slamming happened. Then (I put my head to my couch arm, and could sort of hear through the floor) there were people in her house. And there was a car outside, and two people got into it and left. I assume they were coming from her apartment. I also -- though I didn't see it -- assume they took the dog, because I didn't hear any more out of it after that.

The running theory is that the dog has been driving her nuts all week (maybe she's dogsitting? All week I've had it in my head that she's dogsitting, I don't know why) and my Napoleon Dynamite put her over the edge. So when she got home from work and couldn't relax (she works an overnight shift or something, and gets home between midnight and one) she tried to get me to turn my shit down. And then she slammed the door as hard as she could six times in a row, either to voice her displeasure to me, or to shut the goddamn dog up by scaring it to death. And then the owner (or someone) came at one ay em to pick up the damn dog (she was overheard saying "thank you for getting here so quickly.")

My crazy downstairs neighbor lady has a history of poor communication skills. When she was bothered by the fact that I slammed my door whenever I left my house, instead of leaving a note or something, she (or her weird, sullen, mean boyfriend/husband) began slamming HER door as loudly as possible. When she was bothered by the fact that I was really noisy or something, she left her TV on (while she was not at home) in her bedroom so loud that I had to sleep in my living room. When I left her a polite note about it, she responded with a note of her own in which she maintained that I had given her bulldog colitis from being too noisy.

Man, I haven't had crazy downstairs neighbor lady drama in YEARS! I should dig up that note, it was pretty priceless.

Sorry that this entry is so disjointed. I need to jet. Have a great weekend!

Comments

HOLY SHIT okay I never bothered to look up colitis when that whole thing happened two or three years ago, but I did just now so that I could link to it and Colitis is an inflammation of the colon or lower bowel!! Haha, holy shit I had no idea! Man, that dog was an asshole anyway and also IT WASN'T MY FAULT and also YOU LIVE IN A GODDAMNED APARTMENT, LADY!!