
More young men dropping out of job market to spend time in an alternate reality - zerogvt
https://www.1843magazine.com/features/escape-to-another-world
======
Sileni
Is anyone really surprised?

"We're not going to pay you enough to ever actually own anything, so you'll
have to rent most things for the rest of your life, and you're still going to
be living paycheck to paycheck."

"Gee, maybe I'll find something else to do than maintain the institutions you
rigged against me because you didn't want to invest in your own retirement."

~~~
throwaway77384
Couldn't agree more.

I have been an avid gamer all my life. In the recent decade it's taken a hit,
as life (work, moving in with the gf, etc.) got in the way.

Ultimately, though, I come back to gaming. I play fewer games, as their
quality overall has been affected by capitalism's relentless pursuit to ruin
everything in the name of profits, but there are still plenty of good titles
left.

I have come to the realisation that nothing else in life gives me the kind of
happiness and peace of mind as gaming does. It's about as good as the most
effective drugs I've known and that's saying quite something (certainly
healthier too).

When I play games, I have something to focus on, while simultaneously
rewarding the part of my brain involved in learning and accomplishment. It's a
killer mixture I've fostered since I was a toddler pretty much, so it hooks
into something very primal, deep down.

The funny thing is, that gaming has gone from the thing reject-nerds used to
do, to a thing that's broadly socially accepted. So nowadays I can finally
just happily admit that I enjoy games.

What I do not admit is, that almost anything I do in life is so I can play
more games and ultimately, I don't mind, because that's where I have found
more happiness than anywhere else.

The only thing that comes remotely close is the stability I get from a healthy
family life living with my girlfriend, who loves gaming just as much.

Going to work, the forced socialising required to hold down the job, etc. is
all just a means to do more gaming. If I could disappear into a virtual world
full-time, I would.

~~~
zerogvt
I don't understand (and always disapprove anyway) the downvoting. Fella above
is contributing an honest point of view that actually adds a lot to the
understanding of the situation. If anything s/he should be upvoted.

------
jungler
Games offer a degree of empowerment and security to anyone feeling
downtrodden: it's no surprise that they come entangled with other life issues.
To deal with anything in the real world, you have to summon the energy to get
up and do tasks, make calls, send emails and hold meetings, and worst of all,
spend your limited money on something. If you're already depressed, even
mildly so, you will have trouble reaching the "activation threshold" needed to
do any task.

With an investment in a game, you pay for the game and the equipment once, and
can then have a multitude of experiences with no financial consequence.
Negative elements have been guardrailed and smoothed out for you into minor
irritants, allowing you to get through a day without experiencing stress,
panic or anxiety even if your mind and mood are at a low level of resilience.

What games often don't do is guide their players back into views and habits
that aid in overall life satisfaction. Most forms of human development involve
struggling with more and more things - but in a liberated sense, where you are
taking it on because you want to grow and challenge yourself. The escapist
fantasy can't do that - which doesn't mean they shouldn't exist, but society
is conflicted with how they should be used.

------
AIX2ESXI
yeah, the majority of my male friends are addicted to gaming and living in an
alternate reality; it is something I have struggled with as well. Though I
have always held a job and currently am enrolled in college in pursuit of my
B.S. Comp sci degree, I would rather relax at home and game on my PS4/PC than
go out to bars or clubs. Every year I spend hundreds to thousands of dollars
on new games, hardware, monitors and whatever comforts that enhance that
experience.

Many of us don't see the point in chasing marriage, higher education, careers,
relationships or being a homeowner. The dating game in most cities is abysmal,
and the majority of attractive single ladies are high end escorts, sugar
babies and or gold diggers. There are many factors in society that has led to
that. Sure I can spend a thousand or two on a nice watch, but for what? I can
get a high NUC PC and huge monitor for that price. The same applies to a
luxury car, sure I can afford it, but I would rather walk, take the train/bus
or uber, so that I space out and listen to podcasts, youtube or game while
commuting.

Phillip Zimbardo wrote a recent book on the afflictions that young men are
facing today. It seems dauntless. Sometimes, I too ask myself if the chase is
worth it. My gut feeling is that it's not.

~~~
watwut
It is kind of interesting that you see two alternatives - drinking+clublife or
gaming and not much else.

~~~
minkzilla
I hear a baffling amount of this sentiment these days, and its not just
gaming, though gaming is probably the most common. Do people see the only
alternative to leaving their home as drinking at clubs / bars? or is it just
an excuse and people don't really mean it ? I hear it enough that I don't
really think it is. Do people not know there are a plethora of social
activities that don't involve drinking?

~~~
watwut
Maybe it is that when are isolated long enough, you cease to know what people
normally do (not having occasion to observe it) and pop-entertainment reality
takes over in your mind.

Isolation does that. And majority of population was never heavy clubbers or
keg drinkers. That was always only minority of people despite being shown in
movies as norm.

------
gurpreet-
I was addicted to gaming in my teens, often staying up late nights till 4am.
I'm 100% sure if I'd have stayed playing games I would have destroyed my
career. I understand the allure of games. I understand the buzz of fading into
a world where you can be anyone or anything.

I came to the realisation one night that I was wasting my life away. That
gaming was an escape from reality. I stopped gaming completely because I felt
like I was missing out on what the world had to offer.

After I stopped gaming a lot of things changed for the better. I became
happier, healthier and made more friends in real life than I had ever before.

Gaming addiction should be spoken about more.

------
GaryNumanVevo
Games have a really well defined goal-reward structure. "Do this X times and
get Y". If you get a job, your path to success is nebulous. Learning new
things is hard, getting outside your comfort zone is hard.

Combined with slight depression, it's really easy to see video games
dominating all aspects of someone's life.

~~~
mrgreenfur
Agreed. They are very comfortable and it's super easy to feel good about
existing in the confined parameters. OPs attitude sounds a lot like "we've
stopped trying and decided to let the games win". Rallying against the
'opposite' (opposite sex, or perceived successful men, 'jocks') seems like a
defense mechanism that the group reinforces so that they don't have to face
their own circumstance / fears.

I've fallen into it a bit in the past and it's easy to get bitter and
isolated.

I think the only way out is to turn off the games and try something different.

------
m0llusk
All this focus on gaming could be backwards. The young guy I know who games
all day instead of working is always sending out resumes. None of his jobs
lasts very long but he does well while they last. This labor market has failed
young people and not everyone is going to respond by founding concerns of
their own. Its not the games, its the economy.

------
herogreen
[2017]
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13890782](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13890782)
Still very interesting though.

