Getting to know you

Well, Bert opted to join us for dinner again. The conversation began with I have three loves, baseball, theater, and sex. I about fell out of my seat. Bert is never a guy to hide his thoughts. He talked about losing his wife and his partner of 13 years coming down with Alzheimer’s to the point she didn’t recognize him. My thought was I will write an E-harmony profile for Bert and surprise him. He asked me for a drink after dinner and I started asking questions to build his profile. He was flirtatious. I was not looking and if I were I had in my mind a 5 year age difference limit. We talked each night and I began to outline the profile. Our differences were monumental. I was a Christian, Republican, country girl who owned firearms. Bert is an atheist Jew, Democrat, die-hard city boy, and then there was the 37 year age difference. As we got talking I learned he liked sports, I liked sports. We also both loved travel and theater. I had never met anyone old enough to be able to share stories about Lou Gehrig and Babe Ruth. We also shared horse racing experience, I as an owner/trainer and Bert as an owner. We continued dinner and drinks and chats for the next two weeks. Toward the end of the cruise Bert said to me “Would you consider coming to San Francisco and having fun with me for a year…it would be like going to a foreign country. If you go off to Ghana I won’t have the chance to get to know you better. I went off on a sailing expedition with my daughter and told her what Bert had said. She said he treats you nice, and if you could have 5 wonderful years that’s more than some marriages. I was conflicted because of the age difference. I had gone through a divorce 3 years earlier, and wasn’t sure I could deal with loss. I also knew someone in their 90’s wouldn’t be around forever. I was weighing my answer, when Stefanie wanted to do a Dolphin adventure and I didn’t. Bert suggested hiring a cab and sight seeing together. We listened to the cab driver as he gave us a wonderful tour. I asked the cab driver if he had children. He told me yes, and that one of them was sick. Bert at the end of the trip tipped the cabby an amount equal to the half day fare. Bert didn’t say anything, and I would not have known if the cab driver hadn’t remarked on it. That quiet act of kindness tipped the scale and I decided I would take a chance. I had nothing to lose. I could still take a contract in Ghana if things didn’t work out. It was a big gamble, but I’ll tell you it was one of the best decisions of my life.