Disassociating

I’ve been “checking out” of things again. I don’t really go anywhere else in my head or anything, things just go blank. It’s a survival skill when I’m overwhelmed or freaked out.

To be completely honest, I didn’t really realize how much I do it until today when I got called out on it.

I know I’ve been disconnected some though because blogging has become somewhat challenging. I’m finding it harder to talk about myself and what it going on. I feel blunted and blocked somehow. Just… blank.

Not empty. That implies that there is a “nothing.” I don’t feel empty.

I feel everything.

It’s sort of how all colors of light mixed together make white light. That’s how I feel. I’m so overwhelmed I am just frozen and there is so much that it’s white.

I’m stuck in that white light like a deer in headlights.

Maybe none of this makes sense. I don’t know. Like I said, I am kind of disconnected.
Old art by me.

Published by kimberlyf

38 year old woman living in Michigan and dealing with Bipolar Disorder. Trying to share my story and my day to day in the hope that it shines a light for someone else while also providing me another safe outlet. Two-for-one!!!!
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