My life has been about victories. I’ve won a lot. I win a lot. I win – when I do something, I win. And even in sports, I always won. I was always a good athlete. And I always won. In golf, I’ve won many club championships. Many, many club championships. And I have people that can play golf great, but they can’t win under pressure.

So I’ve always won.”

Donald Trump

=========

“Donald Trump cannot possibly understand [Geneva] because he has neither the experience, the expertise or the moral compass to grasp it,” Geneva is “a fundamental moral and tactical construct that serves as a foundation for the law of armed conflict, because all wars, including the global war on terror, come to an end.

We as a community of nations need to engage with one another and not be separated by horrible, immoral treatment of one side over another.”

——

Steve Kleinman

air force reserve colonel and an interrogations expert

===

Well. I almost called this “whatever serves your purpose.”It seems like every day we talk about winning and, yet, we don’t really spend a shitload of time talking about how we will go about winning.

Donald J. Trump has made me think a lot, like A LOT, about winning and how you conduct yourself in gaining wins .in light of the fact that not everyone conducts themselves the same.

Ah. Conduct.

Yeah. There are some basic human driven rules which 99% of people have imprinted on their attitudes & beliefs that affect their behavior & conduct, but, beyond that, the way you play the game can be dictated by who you are, where you live, who you are playing against and a variety of emotional <and Maslow> triggers.

Now. Today, in discussing conduct, I am not talking about what you say or being ‘political correct’ <which may be the most bastardized discussed concept in this particular point in history> but rather I am speaking of conduct as things like “well, if they chop off heads and we do not doesn’t that give them an edge … so …” … or … “if they are breaking the rules maybe we should relook at the rules <or how we play despite the rules>.”

Those kind of things.

Now. While Trump is a horrible little man ethically <amoral in fact>, he is bringing to the forefront a topic which should be discussed at a national level all the way down to the kitchen table level. This is a discussion about who we are as a country and the identity of America exceptionalism.

I say that because how you play the game matters <especially with regard to character>.

To be clear. Outcomes do matter, but inevitably you get judged or measured on both the outcome AND how you attained that outcome. With Trump blustering about ‘winning’ — maybe we have lost sight of that.

So let’s discuss the ‘how we play’ part. And, yes, this is a discussion because it is not as simple as playing by the rules versus cheating — surprisingly there is a lot of room in-between those lines.

====

“When people cheat in any arena, they diminish themselves – they threaten their own self-esteem and their relationships with others by undermining the trust they have in their ability to succeed and in their ability to be true.”

Cheryl Hughes

===

I will begin in a less than obvious place … truth & lies <and bullshit>.

Yale philosopher Harry Frankfurt outlined in “On Bullsh*t” that there is a difference between BS-ers and liars:

Liars respect the truth, because they must know what it is in order to effectively conceal it. BS-ers are different, in that “truth” is simply not a useful category to them. Any belief is “true” if it serves, if it is convenient. BS-ers have no coherent theory of evidence or of inference, have no need for such things, are contemptuous of reason. In this sense, they are much more corrupting of discourse than liars.

In other words, in order to win, the “truth”, to a bullshitter, will become whatever serves the purpose. I believe this also bleeds into “rules” <which are a version of truths>. I brought that up because I stated upfront almost everyone of us inevitably gets judged by how we got the win, not just the win and of itself. Therefore, I would suggest while outcomes/wins matter we should understand that how you play the game either diminishes you or increases you as a person.

Yes. In today’s world we actually get judged on both aspects … not just one or the other. This leads me to point out that we then get trapped in a personal tug of war — a ‘win at any cost’ attitude is the ultimate reflection of a “respect is about winning” attitude where there is such an emphasis on ‘the win’ we get pulled one way — away from always playing the game “right” and lets the ‘chips fall as they may’.

This is our wretched tug of war.

Winning is absolutely good, but the true essence of sportsmanship is something more than merely getting the most points on the board.

Getting good grades is important but not if it requires cheating.

Getting a promotion is good but not if you do so at the expense of another person.

This is hard stuff. But, if it helps, remember:

How many people do you respect that whine their way to victory?

How many people do you truly respect who has cut corners or ‘won on some technicality’?

I would suggest the notion that ‘winning is the highest value’ runs counter to most usual definitions of heroism, decency and good character. Think about:

Atticus Finch is the hero of To Kill a Mockingbird even though he loses.

Martin Luther King Jr. is a hero but his true victory, while living, was in the attempt.

Ned Stark in Game of Thrones is a hero even though he gets his head chopped off.

Even in business winning isn’t everything. Integrity matters. Integrity matters in business because every sane business leader knows you cannot win every time and your employees need to be able to seize upon ‘something’ to get up and go after the next “what’s next.”

Think about this in a comparison way, while Trump defends his any-means-necessary approach to winning & making as much money as he can <as if that is the only meaningful measure of business greatness>, I could point out many business people who are far richer than Trump who have played the game within the rules with integrity & dignity.

But while I would love to continue to point out the hollowness of The Donald this is, more importantly, about America.

I would argue that in order to have a better America, and a better world, that thinking about ‘how we play the game’ very quickly becomes a metaphorical and reality ethical exercise.

Uhm. As I typed that I made a note to google ethical game theory:

——————

An ethical game is usually not the kind of game that lets us replay a dichotomy of good and evil and, in worst case, denies us to judge between right and wrong. An ethical game design takes the player seriously as an individual with an ethical reasoning developed appropriate to their age, leaving it up to them to make a decision.

For this reason, an ethical game is also in no way a game that treats its players as »moral infants«. It presents the player with ethical challenges just as it poses motoric, exploratory, strategic or logical challenges. Purely abstract game mechanics can’t create an ethical aspect. Ethical challenges can only be generated through portraying them in the game world (and particularly through the story) – and through the medial interaction of the player with it.

Conversely, however, an ethical challenge can create game mechanics, which are never abstract, but result from the conflict in the player’s mind as a very specific challenge in the game world.

————————

Well. When I read that I immediately thought it paralleled what I believe is what we everyday schmucks do, and face, every frickin’ day. The game of life, and business, constantly adjusts to the skill of the players involved. And as reality adjusts those playing get better and better. And, yet, the constant adjusting also demands the players to improve their skills. That demands work. I say that because, uh oh, that is where “rules” truly get challenged.

Work. Yikes. Rather than put in the work to improve the skills to win … uhm … some players ‘do whatever it takes’ or use ‘whatever serves the purpose’ to win. In other words they ‘park’ ethical reasoning somewhere and focus solely on ‘the win.’

This is America in a nutshell. While Life is lived and challenges are met some players’ ethics get nurtured while other players shelve ethical growth so as not … well … not lose. It is here that I would point out this is exactly what Trump is advocating: not losing’ rather than ‘winning.’

Think about it.

Not losing, as an objective, basically makes winning a morally empty principle. The win itself is the glory … and we spend little focus on how you played the game <because the glory resides in the outcome>.

Let me be clear. This can be an attractive thought to most of us everyday schmucks.

Anyone in today’s world, in the daily & weekly grind focusing on all the challenges facing us and mentally taking each obstacle & challenge and, in addition, permitting each to take on a life of its own … could quite easily begin to think everything was going in the wrong direction … in other words … we were losing <and the wins are difficult to see>.

And that mental ‘loser’ hole gets a little deeper if you believe you have been working hard and ‘playing the game hard’ and doing all the right things the right way. And in that moment … in that hole … in that moment in which you are tired of working so hard and not seeing any clear cut victories, you start edging in to “so what will it take for me/us to finally win” <and get out of his loser hole>.

Uh oh. The slippery slope of ‘how you play the game matters’ looms in front of you.

Let me be absolutely clear on this. It is hard, even for the most principled person, to not think about stepping on this slope. Especially when you have someone like Trump shining a spotlight on your thoughts with regard to the ‘loser hole’ and offering a “let’s start winning” again message <with no rules on how to go about getting the win>.

Anyway. Here is what I think.

Trump has seized a moment and offered a ride on a fairly attractive slippery slope. For years, in our culture, America <society> has been in conflict with regard to winning.

Winning is everything versus everyone is a winner.

Conflict 1:Winners get demonized by their win at any cost attitude <and celebrated to the same time>.

Conflict 2:Participants get demonized by their inability to win <and yet celebrated by the victory in the attempt>.

You cannot, well, win.

This conflict is exacerbated by generational conflict. Conceptually the former <winning is everything> is owned by the older generations and the latter <everyone who participates in the game wins> is owned by the younger generations.

The old see their version of winning being marginalized and at exactly the same time they see overall larger country and economic results lagging <or in their eyes … “the country isgoing the way of the loser shithole”>. Therefore, to those people, anyone who dares reject the rules of their game, especially if they do not win, are double losers because they were not smart enough to “do anything it takes to win because winning is everything” we need to get out of this frickin’ loser shithole we are in.

This is where someone like Trump can look attractive to some people. It is like hiring a new coach who looks like he is someone prepared to defy conventions – this creates some exhilaration in the fan base.

“fuck yeah … it’s about time.”

It signals the arrival of a maverick outsider who is not just going to shake things up, but is prepared to destroy to create.

That sounds good.

Well. It is good as long as it is within the rules of the game and by ‘rules’ I mean the true construct of playing the game <Geneva Convention offers specific rules and, of course, there is something called the Constitution and things called ‘laws’ and every sport organization has codes, rules and penalties> as well as the integrity of playing the game.

I admit. I am a ‘play by the rules guy.’And, I admit, Trump’s attitude irks me as a business guy. Here is what I know from a business guy perspective <and I believe it is relevant to America in general>.

Give me the construct, give me the box to play within, and I can be creative enough WITHIN the box to beat anyone. I wrote this in 2015:

This may sound odd <especially to someone like Trump> but true creativity, innovation and disruption is found within the box and not out of the box. Out of the box is most often impractical, not realistic long term and ultimately pales when placed next to ethical principles.

I would also note that winning within the box is maybe the most satisfying feeling in the world.

In the end.

How you win matters. And changing the rules simply to ‘win’ loses sight of what is really important – not the win itself but the principled effort you took to gain the win.

And if that doesn’t convince you, remember, rules represent:

“a fundamental moral and tactical construct that serves as a foundation for the law of conflict, because all conflict comes to an end. <and you have to live with yourself and what you have done>“

Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers, all of us. All the restless hearts of the world, all trying to find a way home.”

—–

Patch Adams

====================

Well. I had all these quotes and I didn’t know what to do with them until I saw the image at the opening of this post: “They say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I’m not leaving maybe I’m going home.”

I have often wondered why many of us are so restless. We seek things, and travel places looking for ‘something’ and dream dreams. This doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy what we have nor does it mean we don’t accept reality. It just means that there is always an undercurrent of change or “what ifs” or “what could be’s” underneath the surface of our Life. At the same time we are sailing through Life seeking some place we can land which we can not only call home, but actually feels like home.

And maybe that is where the line “home is where you hang your hat’ comes into play. In its simplicity it is actually suggesting that it really isn’t your hat that matters it is when you accept that you can be who you are and that ‘who’ is all you can be that you have found home. And while Thérèse was really suggesting that the material world was simply your journey and heaven, or God, is your destination the overall thought is truer than true.

Whether you believe in something bigger than you or simply believe there is something bigger within you, you should seek the stars within you to guide you to it all — not some external place or location which may appear to fulfill some aspect of ‘home.’

Your dreams, wishes and … yes … the starlight to guide you in the darkness of not knowing what to do, where to go and how to get thru whatever it is you are going thru … is all within you.

Your home resides within you.

You are simply looking for a place to … well … place your home that feels right and true. That place is unseen. That place is not really one place <it can actually be many places>.

Here comes the hard part.

Life will not give you any signposts and most of Life will constantly change your direction unseen in the undercurrents of Life.

============

“In the short voyage of a lifetime, we can see the eddies and ripples on the surface, but not the undercurrents changing the main channel of the stream. “

Thomas Mellon

=============

This all suggests you are in control and you are not in control.

Just ponder the fact we often stand upon the deck of our ship admiring the horizon and enjoying the travel & journey only to have some Life undercurrent disrupt our complacency and some version of ‘living Life laziness’ <i.e., if you’re not careful and become actively involved in Life, Life will actively involve itself in your Life>.

This simply reminds us that circumstances beyond our control often disrupt the illusion of what we have, who we are and where we are.

The unseen undercurrent constantly nudges our mind with questions:

What is our purpose?

How can we take control of so many things out of our control?

How do we reconcile the vastness Life offers us … reconcile the bigness that can often appear within reach … and reconcile our desire to be worthy of Life … reconcile it all against the smallness that is us in the roiling sea on which our ship sails?

Will we ever satisfy our dreams for what could be & what we could be?

Meaningful or meaningless?

We struggle with these questions. And all the while we avoid the questions under the guise of “seeking home.’

Ah. Shit.

Suffice it to say, home is not anything physical, it actually resides in the infinite. As a corollary, this would presume if you accept its infiniteness you should be able to see it also has the potential to be infinitely good.

I believe we inherently know this and inherently know that only ‘home’ will truly satisfy us. And that search, that journey, is the satisfaction. I imagine the unfortunate, uncomfortable, truth is the odds are we will never truly find some ‘home’ in which we can live our entire lives.

“We don’t own nothin’, we just borrow it. When you die, another man moves in and your daughter calls him daddy. Death is the tax a soul has to pay to have a name and a form.“

———-

Muhammed Ali

========================

Muhammed Ali has died … and I feel like a little oxygen has been sucked out of the atmosphere.

We don’t own nothin’.

That is a Life attitude that could drive a person to greatness. An attitude that says today is temporary and tomorrow I gotta get up and start all over and prove myself one more time.

To me … that summarizes Muhammed Ali.

He was a complicated puzzle to me.

Why?

He wasn’t satisfied to be just a boxer.

He offered none of the humility most of us expect of athletes.

He wasn’t just a great athlete … he was casual competing in his greatness.

And above it all there were personal things bigger than what happened in the ring.

The Ali look.

The Ali rules of life. <As Cassius Clay said “I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be who I want.”>

The Ali words and wordsmithing.

The Ali brashness.

The Ali aura.

He never relinquished his right to living life his way.

Did I like it all the time?

Nope.

I disliked the brashness.

But I loved the casual athletic greatness.

And I admired the sense of self … and his stubbornness with regard to maintaining his ‘self’ as society did its best to squeeze it into on existence and be reshaped into what everyone expected greatness to be.

He refused to be defined as it was defined and steadfastly suggested … no … demanded … that he be judged on his own terms.

Was it easy? Nope.

Not on him.

And not on us.

Many of us … me included … balked.

But you know what? In the end he taught me to view greatness differently … and for that I owe him a debt. I owe anyone who can make me see something differently … especially something like ‘greatness.’

That said.

When people say he was the greatest … I don’t agree.

I believe he redefined greatness.

I believe he redefined how generations would view greatness for … well … generations to come.

In fact.

Rethinking what I just wrote … I believe he didn’t just redefine … he destroyed how greatness was defined and created it using himself as the image.

He didn’t own greatness … he defined it. And that said … he did it within his overall attitude … “we got nothin’.”

And, yet, when I saw he died … I felt like I had lost something.

A little oxygen got sucked out of Life.

Why do I say something like that?

I was fortunate enough to be sitting in a restaurant in Los Angeles in the 90’s when Muhammed Ali walked thru to a private room in the back of the restaurant.

Even though no one knew who or what was happening before he arrived … I vividly remember a slight buzz overcoming the main dining room minutes before he appeared.

I vividly remember him gliding thru the room in an impeccable suit surrounded by large men in impeccable suits … but mostly I remember how it felt.

It felt like his presence sucked a little oxygen out of the room. It’s like his presence demanded a little bit more than the rest of us.

I haven’t written any enlightening sports news for a while and decided because the ‘old’ San Antonio Spurs take the court for game 6 of the NBA finals … as well as I just watched the absolutely horrendous baseball movie, For the Love of the Game, <which I watch over and over again regardless of its badness>.

Therefore this post is dedicated to the movie and … well … some thoughts on the love of the game and older athletes.

And by ‘the game’ I mean sports in general.

I love sports. Yes. Love. And while I love sports as a game … I also love it as a microcosm of Life. Sports, and it’s athletes, if you pay attention … can be reflective on some really important things in Life.

Plus. I am allowed to be reflective as I am an old guy who loves sports.

Now.

This is not going to be one of those painful nostalgic pieces discussing ‘what happened to the good ole days in sports’ but rather this is going to be a nod to the old guys in sports and some appreciation.

Here is the main thought in a nutshell.

Invincibility versus appreciation. Invincibility in the moment versus appreciation of the moment.

Young athletes play the game as if they are invincible … and treat themselves as invincible within the moment.

<and incredibly fun & spectacular to watch>

Older athletes play the game with appreciation … and treat ‘the moment’ with appreciation.

<and incredibly fun & thoughtful to watch>

I imagine I could also write about this same philosophical distinction in the workplace but I will stick with sports because … for some reason … we have a slew of spectacular older athletes who we should appreciate.

Let me begin with some big names.

David Beckham, Kobe and Ray Lewis are perfect examples of a portion of what I believe is spectacular about the great older athletes.

All three are, or were, spectacular in their respective sport … but I mention them because they were all punks <or punkish> with a swagger of invincibility in youth. There was no doubt they loved the game they played … and respected it even in their youth … and have grown into a wonderful sense of maturity <within an ongoing fire of competitiveness>.

I am not sure I could have ever imagined these three becoming ambassadors for their respective games as I watched their spectacular talent blossom as they began their careers.

They all played with a brilliant invincibility.

They have all matured with appreciation.

And they all certainly have mastered an appreciation of the moment.

Okay. That said.

Some thoughts on invincibility & appreciation and sports.

for the love of the game <the movie>

It is a godawful movie with a spectacular movie hidden within it.

Put me in an edit suite with the original movie and I bet I could walk out with one of the best sports movies of all time <at maybe half the length of the original>.

Kevin Costner is perfectly cast as the aging pitcher and the premise of the last game is also perfect. It’s all the crap in between. Anyone who has played sports, particularly baseball, would love this movie if it had just focused on when a great athlete in their last days sparkles one last time. It is magical. It is why we love sports.

Because it captures present greatness and memories of greatness all at once.

Because it captures the true essence of an older athlete’s appreciation of the moment and the game.

My only advice? Just go to the bathroom a lot <during the crappy moments> and you will love this movie.

which reminds me … 1967 and today

In 1967 Carl Yastremski won baseball’s last triple crown.

I would like to now point out that it now 45 years later. And Miguel Cabrera did it <last season>. Oh. And he is still putting up amazing numbers this season and could very well get close to winning a second.

From 1920 to 1967, there were eleven Triple Crown winners in baseball, and a whole bunch of famous near misses.

In 1949, Ted Williams’ .343 average was just the tiniest bit behind George Kell’s .343 average, those percentage points costing him a third Triple Crown.

In 1948, Stan Musial finished just one home run shy of a Triple Crown.

Some thoughts on how tough it is to do what Cabrera did <and I am not sure has been truly appreciated>:

– The average league-leading batting average since 1968: .348

– The average league-leading home run title since 1968: 44

– The average league-leading RBI total since 1968: 129

So … how many players from 1920 to 1968 put up what you might call an “average Triple Crown season?” Fourteen.

Babe Ruth put up six of them, Jimmie Foxx put up three, Lou Gehrig put up three, Mickey Mantle and Hack Wilson put up one each <source: Joe Posnanski – sports on earth>.

Cabrera is a 30 year old Venezuelan who plays baseball with an appreciation of the game. I tip my hat to him.

the downside of invincibility

Playing with invincibility and being invincible are two separate things <unfortunately for many athletes>.

The sports world is strewn with “what could have beens.” I bring this up because Brian Harper of the Washington Senators. He is a hall of fame lock … if he makes it through his ‘invincible youth.’ There is no more talented player in major league baseball that plays with such recklessness and wild abandon than he.

That said … I have a name for you Pete Reiser.

He could run, hit for average <in his rookie year, he won the National League batting title with a .343 average>, and hit for power. In that rookie season at age 22, he also led the league in runs scored (117), doubles (39), triples (17), slugging percentage (.558), OPS (.968), and had an OPS+ of 169.

He banged out 14 home runs, too.

He was Ty Cobb, Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle and Albert Pujols all wrapped into one.

His defense was beyond reproach.

“There will never be a ballplayer as good as Willie Mays, but Reiser was every bit as good, and he might have been better. Pete Reiser might have been the best ballplayer I ever saw. He had more power that Willie. He could throw as good as Willie. Mays was fast, but Reiser was faster. Name whoever you want to, and Pete Reiser was faster. Willie Mays had everything. Pete Reiser had everything but luck.”– Leo Durocher

The play that basically ended Pete’s career came in 1942, when in the 13th inning of a 0-0 pitchers duel* between Whitlow Wyatt of the Brooklyn Dodgers and Mort Cooper of the St. Louis Cardinals, Reiser tried to chase down an Enos Slaughter drive to center field. He had it but ran full speed into the concrete wall, and the ball came loose. Reiser picked up the ball, threw it to Pee Wee Reese and they almost got Slaughter at home.

Reiser then collapsed on the field. He had a severe concussion and a fractured skull. How he threw that ball back to Reese is anybody’s guess.

That was the worst wall crash, but it was not the only one. He was carted off the field 11 times in his career, and was once given last rites at the stadium. – Bleacher Report

A player of truly exceptional talent had a career curtailed by injury and a ‘succeed at all costs I am invincible’ playing style.

I could name a bunch of exceptional athletes who, because of their playing style, became ‘vincible’ and never had the opportunity to become the older athlete who played the game with appreciation instead of invincibility.

The second name I have for you? Duncan Edwards.

I bring up Duncan only to suggest the spectacular older athletes have not only weaved their way through their sports lives safely … but also the random twists in Life itself.

Duncan Edwards was suggested as the greatest soccer <football> player ever.

But most don’t know him because he died at 21.

“Physically, he was enormous. He was strong and had a fantastic football brain. His ability was complete – right foot, left foot, long passing, short passing. He did everything instinctively.” –Bobby Charlton

An English footballer who played for Manchester United and the England national team. He was one of the Busby Babes, the young United team formed under manager Matt Busby in the mid-1950s, and one of eight players who died as a result of the Munich air disaster on Feb. 21 1958.

Matt Busby described Duncan Edwards as the most ‘complete footballer in Britain – possibly the world’. The greatest tragedy is that his death aged just 21 from injuries sustained in the Munich air crash meant his full potential was never realized <and yet he was considered the best of the best even at that time>. With boundless stamina, an all-encompassing range of passing and a truly ferocious shot, Edwards was a player who could control any game he played in.

<note: there are several fantastic books on the Busby Babes as well as Bobby Charlton’s biography is fantastic>

My point?

Invincibility is fickle.

These old guys, these spectacular older athletes, have not only weaved their way through their sports lives safely … physically… but also the random twists in Life itself.

the upside of the appreciation for the moment

I will begin with Kobe Bryant.

Boy … if you want to pick a youngster with swagger & invincibility you couldn’t do better than the 18 year old Kobe version.

But he has become ‘vincible.’

And at the same time he has shown grace and appreciation for the game. I once asked on this site in a post how people will be, and should be, judged. By the indiscretions of their youth or by the discretion of that which is found in maturity.

In the past year we are being faced this question in spades with Ray Lewis and Kobe Bryant.

Me?

As an old guy myself … and recognizing that I am quite happy I have had some time to manage my legacy with time & maturity … I recognize that athletes are no different than non athletes in that we all mature. What we do with that maturity is the measure of the person.

Three more oldster names who are nearing the end.

And three who have never been punks or arrogant <in the over the top swagger way>.

Mariano Rivera & Derek Jeter & Roger Federer.

Oh my.

Mariano & Derek and baseball..

One team <the Yankees> and two of the greatest ambassadors the game of baseball has ever had.

Quiet leaders who day in and day out did their thing … and I do not believe we have ever doubted their appreciation for the game … and their own appreciation of the talent they had <without all the braggadocio>.

We should appreciate these two while we have the opportunity.

They have always appreciated “the” moments … the moments that make or break the individual games … but as elder statesman I believe they appreciate it all now. Always class acts … they treated the game with class.

Whew.

Roger.

Effortless grace on the tennis court. I have seen bigger stronger faster whateverer athletes in my lifetime … but I am not sure I have ever seen such effortlessly looking spectacularness athleticism anywhere before or since. His time on the courts is getting shorter but one thing I believe we can all be sure of … he will seize the moment and appreciate it when his time comes.

Lastly. The NBA final three oldster athletes for the Spurs.

Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobli & Tony Parker.

An American, a Spaniard and a Frenchman.

All taking the court tonight against this generation’s version of ‘showtime.’ The old men will make it ‘slowtime’ and do what they do so well … they play the game with an appreciation for the moment.

An appreciation physically and mentally.

Tim and Manu know that their bodies physically are not what they once were. That doesn’t mean they aren’t competitive nor does it mean they ‘quit’ or take a break even while playing.

They have simply become smarter about when to expend energy <metal appreciation> and how to expend energy <physical appreciation>.

Once again.

I just wanted to name a few athletes nearing the end of their careers because the Spurs ‘oldsters’ reminded me we sports fans are living at a special time.

Anyway. In the end.

In a way … sports is cruel to athletes. Just as their minds mature … their bodies disappoint them. If an athlete is lucky they can play into their mid-30’s … then it’s over.

They are then required to begin a second career … and second life. To begin a second life where in the first you were invincible … and appreciative.

Regardless.

The greatest of the great older athletes rise up once in a while just to remind us of what we saw all the time.

And we should appreciate it for what it is … an older athlete appreciating the moment and rising up one more time.

All these athletes make me love the game even more … well … maybe better said … they make me appreciate the game.

So. We are well into the summer Olympics and rather than have me run through the medal count let me spend a couple minutes letting me recount what I think has been notable <so far>.

watching men versus women

It’s odd. I didn’t even think about this until I watched a women’s volleyball match. This one had Japan. I think they may have one player over 6 feet. They have a 5’3” player. And. They. Get. Everything. Back.

Everything.

Regardless. The women’s matches are physical, athletic and … well … multi-faceted. Addictive to watch. Switch over to the men and … well … they hit the crap out of the ball but it almost seems raw and less skilled <although I know that is not so> but in the end … not as pleasing to watch as the women. Oh. And it is insane how the women volleyball players tape their fingers. They could go straight from a match to a costume party as a mummy.

To be fair. I flip this thought in basketball. After watching men play basketball I just cannot understand how someone can watch women’s basketball. I am not sure this thought is relevant in something like weightlifting or equestrian <which men and women compete against each other … which I like> and maybe it is just personal taste but all I do know is that if you watch the women’s volleyball you will understand.

Ok.

Now that I have probably pissed off men & women both let me move on to another male/female comparison.

the sloth & the missile

The sloth is a guy. A gardener from the land-locked African nation of Niger. He will certainly be crowned the worst Olympian athlete of the 2012 Games. Just to be clear … he is not complaining and neither am I. it’s awesome. Hamadou Djibo Issaka has earned himself the nickname “the sculling sloth” after finishing consistently last in his three rowing events. Even more funny is he got slower each time he competed. But what he lacks in skill he makes up for in enthusiasm.

“I have no technique,” the 35-year-old confessed with a laugh after a recent race. “I’ve done only three months (of training) so I will get more technique.” Issaka is the first person from Niger ever to ever compete in the Olympic Games. He is an example of what makes the Olympics great.

The missile is a woman. Missy Franklin. Yeah. We are all tired of the story but … here is the winner part of the story.

Her hands and feet.

She is singlehandedly reminding young women that being gawky or being perfect physically in some ways is … well … really unimportant. She talks about her size 13 feet like it they are just feet <which they are>. She talks about being in high school and not wanting to miss a day of it.

Does she feel self-conscious about the size of her feet & hands? Sure. She is a teenage girl for god’s sake.

Has she learned to laugh about it enough that it is almost irrelevant? Yup. She smiles. She is charming.

If I were going to create a campaign discussing self-esteem for young girls I would be camped out in front of The Missile’s house begging her to help me out.

beyond the sloth & the missile there are a couple other notable characters …

a Tunisian bball player. Tunisia Forward Mohamed Hadidane approached Kobe Bryant the same way thousands of fans do. Hadidane took off his right shoe and somehow had a black marker in hand to get Bryant’s autograph. Bryant graciously signed the shoe and then patted Hadidane on his chest. Yeah, it looked kind of strange, but I have to imagine Mohamed Hadidane doesn’t care about that at all. I am not sure Hadidane plays professionally (I thought maybe the Turkish league but I couldn’t find him on any roster). Suffice it to say this may be the only time the dude gets on a basketball court with Kobe … let alone in the same arena. Yeah, it looked kind of strange, but I KNOW that I don’t care. It reminded me of what makes the Olympics unique … and great.

A Venezuelan fencer. Everybody will have their own ‘moment’ of the Olympics. Me? Venezuelan épée fencer Ruben Limardo. I had never heard of Limardo. And I am fairly sure no one had excepting the maybe two dozen Venezuelan fans who were cheering wildly for their fencer <yeah … I just typed ‘cheering wildly’ and ‘fencer’ in the same sentence>.

In the end? Victory.

The moment? Limardo celebrates by sprinting dementedly around the arena before dropping to his knees in front of the Venezuelan fans.

It is only the second Olympic medal Venezuela has ever won. It reminds you why we have the Olympics.

Speaking of fencing.

Nike needs to get focused

Olympic fencing mixes the ancient and the modern, combining rules laid down more than 500 years ago with electronic scoring systems and Kevlar jackets. The delicate balance of old and new has sustained the sport since its debut at the first modern Olympics in 1896. The sport’s three disciplines — sabre, foil and epee — require weapons of differing sizes and styles, but they share one thing in common … the uniforms are the most unflattering outfits of any sport.

The competition looks like it takes place in space suits from the old show “lost in space.” C’mon. Nike designs uniforms <albeit the women’s soccer Pablo Picasso meets Where’s Waldo is kinda nuts> all over the world in every sport and then they miss out on the opportunity to design some swashbuckling style that matches the overall style of the sport. Regardless. I hope you saw the american saber competitor. Cannot remember her name. She was favored but didn’t win. Doesn’t matter. If all fencers fenced like she does we would be watching fencing on tv rather than poker.

horses & crashes

If you didn’t see the equestrian cross country event you missed out. The course and the riders was stunning. The setting was breathtaking. Green grass, colorful flowers, big trees, friendly squirrels, birds singing <someone may have actually had a bluebird on their shoulder>, historic buildings and an awesome view of the London skyline across the Thames. Beyond that? As The Guardian said Equestrian cross country can best be described as the Olympics’ profuse apology for dressage …”Sorry for that horse ballet the other day; now watch’em jump off a grassy cliff.”

It is a beautifully tortuous obstacle course.

28 different obstacles. Each one was tailored to a different landmark, the majority of them in London. Some are large hedges. Some involve running and jumping into water.

While the course was beautifully decorated it was the obstacles that really made the event worth watching. The Cricket Ball Basket (#23), the Rose Garden (#24), the Saxon Village (#27), the Royal Herb Garden (#4), the Diamond Jubilee Hedge (#1) and the Tower of London (#s 15 & 16). And because the prime meridian runs through Greenwich Park which creates Greenwich Mean Time and because of the Royal Observatory being there as well, several more obstacles reflected that in their themes (# 6 The Planet, # 7 The Moon, # 25 The Timeline Clocks, #26 The Observatory Turn and #14 The Sundials).

But. It was Obstacle 20 (“The Royal Greenwich Borough”) one which made all the other obstacles look like a speed bump, that was amazing.

The horse runs up to the edge of a cliff, with a steep decline right into another jump. The obstacle takes extraordinary balance from both horse and rider; keep in mind, this is well into the long tiring course.

Oh.

I do have an idea for a new Olympic sport. Along the lines of the crazy biathlon in winter olympics <insane cross country skiing combined with shooting squirrels along the way> maybe we can have horse drawn skiing (see picture to left). Crazy? Well. It would give the horses something to do in the winter and combining the ever popular skiing. Just a thought.

fans

yup. There is always one nutso fan at every event. So instead I will just focus on the obnoxious.

It’s that damn vuvuzela also known as lepatata Mambu (its Tswana name). That plastic horn, about 2 feet long which produces a loud obnoxiously aggravating monotone note. Traditionally made and inspired from a kudu horn, the vuvuzela was used to summon distant villagers to attend community gatherings. In this case the vuvuzela is most used at Brazil matches. Its high sound pressure levels at close range can lead to permanent hearing loss for unprotected ears after exposure.

Amazingly the Olympics are made up of more than Americans and the 100 yard dash and swimming. In fact it includes the pommel horse <which does not participate in the Grand National Steeplechase>, the shuttle cock <not a farm animal>, foot & hand ball <which is actually adult versions of kick ball and dodgeball> and butterflies <albeit they are the odd breed that actually swim>.

Ok.

There are going to be some sports you won’t see a whole shitload of unless you have the full sports package on cable and get ESPN 5 thru 12 channels. Although … the non-scored event of “what is the most inappropriate flag to be displayed when a country is introduced” will be covered by every news network ad nausea <by the way … my two votes are for displaying the Israeli flag when Iranians are introduced and showing the Russian flag every time one of the past Soviet countries are introduced – Ukraine, Estonia, Latvia, etc. – although the South Korea for North Korea was an excellent initial play>. Anyway.

Therefore it has become my responsibility to make you aware of some f the more random Olympic events.

The “who is wackiest country fan base” competition

You won’t see it on tv because it happens in living rooms globally. We will all tune in to watch some extraordinary athlete do something unhuman and inevitably the camera will scan the crowd for the one nutjob who is cheering on their only country’s athlete dressed as Chewbacca (in that country’s colors), McLovin (in that country’s colors) or some medieval costumed character (in that country’s colors).

The star? The dutch are consistently featured.

Please don’t hit my shuttle cock.

Answer: What is Badminton.

86 men and 86 women compete in singles, doubles and mixed doubles. Matches are the best of three, players trying to reach 21 points and win by two. Surprisingly it is an awful like volleyball in that competitors often aim at the ground or at each other’s heads … all at a frantic pace and the shuttlecock can actually reach 200mph. yes. I just typed 200mph. ouch. That would sting.

Just to be clear. This is not the game we play while drinking frou frou cocktails in some posh well-manicured backyard.

The star? China dominates.

No. This is not a 3 Musketeers marathon.

It is Fencing

Swashbucklers in 10 medal events smack each other around with foils, épées and sabres.

Individual bouts involve three periods of three minutes each – or until one fencer scores 15 hits.

Full of swagger. What it is not Playground sword fighting. Fencing is crammed full of rules, infringements and jargon. Best to know your piste from your riposte before setting off.

The star? Errol Flynn. Oh. He is dead. South Korea and Italy.

Soccer using hands instead of feet.

Hence there is an Olympic event called Handball. It is angry lacrosse without the sticks. Okay. It is actually water polo without the water.

168 men and 168 women will compete. Teams of seven pass, bounce and throw the ball at goal using any body part above the knee. Players can hold the ball for up to three seconds and take up to three steps. Matches consist of two 30-minute halves. The game is fast, relatively easy to follow <as with any of these sports … soccer, ice hockey, lacrosse … there are some random rules that seemingly stop the match for only a reason the referee knows> and it is surprisingly physically confrontational.

The star? Norway for women. France for men.

What are those things that float with sails <and no kegs in the back>?

The event is called “sailing.”

There are 10 medal events, six for men and four for women, with 380 competitors and a range of vessels including the Minnow. Points are awarded based on where you finish not on your sailing skill <therefore Gilligan has a chance>.

Don’t even try and understand the rules. Basically there is some shit you can do with the sails and some you cannot.

Britain has finished first in the last three Olympics.

The star? Someone called “The Skipper.”

Wow. That looks like a beach outside that pub!

Yes. Beach volleyball is still an Olympic sport. Yeah, yeah, yeah … I know it is a serious sport <played in bikinis> but I still struggle to see it as an Olympics sport. Regardless. The big news is the wild card team is Ginger & Mary Ann who get to play because Skipper brought them along as part of the crew of the mighty Minnow <they are longshots>.

There are 48 teams playing on wet London sand. The aim is to land the ball in the opponents’ half in that very wet sand. Oh. And drink beach-like cocktails.

The star? USA and Brazil.

Wow. That looks like a dirt pit outside that pub!

Yes. BMX cycling is an Olympics sport. Yes. I still struggle to understand why. Regardless. This is not your neighborhood kids pulling wheelies on their Big Wheels.

On a purpose-built 400m course in the north of the park 32 men and 16 women will do limb-snapping, gymnastic moves on bikes floor exercise agility maneuvers all over steep dirt mountains. This will also be the only location on the Olympic grounds where you can buy some quality weed.

Now. This ain’t like the winter Olympics biathlon <crazy people skiing and then stopping to try and not shoot anyone in the crowd as they gasp for breath> but rather targets are stationary in the pistol and rifle events, but are on the move in the shotgun so it is a little easier. Ok. Even as I type that I cannot see how this is a real sport. A competition amongst Soprano fans? Sure. Olympic event? Not so sure.

Anyway. Basically this is nap time. It moves at a pachyderm like pace although takes a steel like mind that can calculate more angles than Pythagoras. Oh. It involves a lot of lying down … just not with anyone and not in a bed.

The star? A Brit. World No1 Peter Wilson.

Hey! Those guys are kickin each other!

Yup. Taekwondo is an Olympic event.

eight medal events – four weight categories for men, four for women. Points come from kicking and punching your opponent <apparently the body gets broken into ‘scoring zones’ … for example … smacking someone with a turning head-kick is worth four points … smacking someone on the ass in warm-ups gets you nothing but some funny looks>.

Contests are in three two-minute rounds. There are lots of rules and rules are really strict <please do not ask me for examples>.

Trivia? A serious mistake gets what is called a Gam-Jeom <one-point penalty>.

The sport is not for anyone who should be in anger management because while you do get to literally, and figuratively, kick the shit out of someone you only get points for controlled aggression.

The star? Anyone from South Korea. They got half the medals in last Olympics.

Yup. That is a trampoline. Nope. That is not your backyard.

Yup. There is a Trampoline Olympic event.

32 gymnasts will bounce it out in an event which has been in the Games only since 2000. There are 10 skill routines, with 11 judges marking them on difficulty, timing and execution. All judges are under the age of 15 and also excel at swing set swinging and monkey bar monkeying.

Scoring will end up being even more random than a eastern European ice dancing event and it is full of some more-than-excellent jargon. watch out for a graceful fliffus (a double somersault with at least a half-twist). A triffus is a triple <awesome>.

Be aware. You will never be able to spot the faults/demerit activity unless someone completely falls off the trampoline.

The star? Apparently Canada has some trampoline A-listers, eh?

Whoa. Those men are covered in olive oil.

Ok. It is Greco-Roman Wrestling.

There are 18 Greco-Roman events for men only in seven weight categories, and in the freestyle seven categories for men and four for women.

Be forewarned. Lots of sweaty spandex. But at least they aren’t rolling around sweating on each other a lot because Greco-Roman wrestling involves using only upper bodies and arms. The aim is to force the back of the opponent’s shoulders on to the mat, with points awarded for throws and holds. It is not pretty by any definition nor artistic but let’s hope these dudes don’t mistakenly walk in at the Badminton after party.

The star? Anyone with a Russian name. Russians won 21 golds in the last four Games.

“Let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.”

“There are victories of the soul and spirit. Sometimes, even if you lose, you win.”

Elie Wiesel

Okay. Competitiveness is a tricky thing.

No one wants “them to win.”

Bottom line for people? “I want to win.”

And the attitude? “So I don’t lose.”

The tricky part is that winning doesn’t belong to you. It’s not just attitude I am talking about here. Everyone has every right to it … to “the win”. Absolutely there is nothing wrong with trying to win, but at some point you need to remember that it isn’t everything. Winning isn’t as important as doing your best (even if best doesn’t equal winning).
So.

Sounds easy? Sounds like common sense?
Sure. Those are the facts. We know the facts. We understand the facts. We accept the facts.

But everyone still has to deal with the personal feelings. Because the transition between “I want to win therefore I won’t lose.” To “I lost.” THAT is a humdinger of a personal transition.

Worse?

When winning is familiar (like … you win a lot … often enough that a part of you kind of expects to win).

Familiar winning is addictive.

So. Daring to ask yourself “what if I lose?” or “what if the other team wins?” is huge.

And there begets the victory of soul and spirit and character.

We never know the answers to these questions. Mostly because most of us cannot not only picture losing but don’t want to (for fear it impedes the possibility of winning),

No one wants to envision watching the other team win or maybe better said … “a win that has always belonged to me.”

That means finding victory in a loss is all about character.

Not being too proud to even think about those things as well as accept loss.

And I would argue some of these are semi-huge victories. They are possibly only less ‘huge’ because they are personal, or internal, rather than public.

So maybe we should all reflect a little on what we have accomplished in the past months and days.

And make sure you celebrate the small victories and make sure you actually celebrate the victory of the “brave attempt.”

Celebrate the victory of soul & spirit.

And feel good about yourself a little more than maybe you may when you look in the mirror.

Oh.

And don’t forget to lose with character.

Here you go.

An odd close for me in one of my posts but I found a Todd Rundgren song that had some nice lyrics:

We’ve been waiting so long,
we’ve been waiting for the sun to rise and shine
Shining still, give us the will
Bright as the day, show us the way.
Somehow, someday,
We need just one victory and we’re on our way.
Prayin’ for it all day and fightin’ for it all night
Give us just one victory, it will be all right.
You may feel about to fall but we go down fighting,
You will hear the call if you only listen
Underneath it all we are here together,
Shining still, give us the will
Bright as the day, show us the way.
Somehow, someday,
we need just one victory and we’re on our way
Prayin’ for it all day and fightin’ for it all night
Give us just one victory, it will be all right.

The National Anthems

How awesome is it to hear all the different national anthems? While just like hearing a song on the radio, too often some anthems wear down their appeal after awhile, but I admit that after a special event the American national anthem can still send a chill up my spine. I continue to believe the Canada anthem is one of the nicest and most listenable. Several like Austria and Czech Republic and Swiss are nice orchestral pieces. And then Finland and Estonia and Belarus have more ‘power’ orchestral things. Anyway. It makes the medal podium thing a little more interesting particularly when some country you just don’t hear of that often gets there. Oh. And I guess I was surprised by China and South Korea anthems. (I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t what they had. It’s like there is a Chinese Mozart hovering somewhere in the Ming dynasty who wrote some crap for them).

And how would you like the music guy’s job? I am sure nowadays they have everything on computer (but could you imagine when some guy in a booth was scrambling with some plastic LP or even a cassette tape to get it right?).

Bobsled

What’s up with all the crashes? Ok. It is a 4,800 foot track with a 500 foot vertical drop and they get to just above 90 miles per hour but, c’mon dudes, you train all year round for one of the most random events in the world so you won’t crash the only time every 4 years anyone even watches this stupid event. After four-man bobsleds from Croatia and Latvia crashed during training on Monday, officials from the International Bobsleigh and Skeleton Federation (I just wanted to type that out because I am awestruck there is a “Bobsleigh & Skeleton” Federation) postponed the remainder of the practice sessions and now they plan to shave an inch or more of ice from that curve and in a few other areas. (on a separate note Gillette Fusion has negotiated the rights to shave the ice). Coaches say the changes are relatively minor and will make the track more navigable. WTF. It is supposed to be the world’s most difficult isn’t it?

And just as I was starting to think these guys were tough because after some crashes and they stood around comparing rug burns (oops. ice burns), where most of them look like they could give The Rock a run for his money (some of these dudes are big slabs of guys), their tough guy image took a huge fucking hit today when The Netherlands’ four-man bobsled team withdrew from the event because pilot Edwin van Calker is not confident driving his sled on the track at the Whistler Sliding Centre. Say what? Not confident? WTF. He is fucking scared. Once again. You train nonstop for this one event and you get scared?

“This is a personal decision on Edwin’s part,” bobsled coach Tom de la Hunty said. “From a buildup of numerous factors, including his crash in two-man bobsleigh, the tragic accident in men’s luge and external family pressures, all of which resulted in Edwin not having confidence in piloting.”

So. Wouldn’t you like to be a fly on the wall with the other three guys who just got screwed in participating in the Olympics? (While I assume there were massive amounts of Heineken involved, I am hoping for Edwin’s sake the biathlon guns reside in a different wing of the complex).

Logos & Mascots

Probably because I haven’t figured out what the mascot of the Vancouver Olympics is (which is probably good seeing as I personally had to live through Izzy – the idiot – logo mascot for the Atlanta Olympics so I am scarred) I think I will write something about the Olympic rings (just because I was curious and looked some information up).

It was after the 1912 Stockholm Games (the first Games featuring athletes from all five inhabited parts of the world) a design of five interlocked rings, drawn and colored by hand, appeared at the top of a letter. The ring design was used as the emblem of the IOC’s 20th anniversary celebration in 1914 and a year later, it became the official Olympic symbol.

The rings have been explained as “A white background, with five interlaced rings in the centre: blue, yellow, black, green and red…is symbolic; it represents the five inhabited continents of the world, united by Olympics, while the six colors are those that appear on all the national flags of the world at the present time.” The original designer used a loose interpretation of “continent” that included Africa, the Americas, Asia, Europe and Oceania. No specific ring represents a specific continent.

Men’s Ice Hockey

I really really wanted to get excited about this USA ice hockey team thing. And I know NBC and ESPN wanted me to be really really excited (if I had seen one more “miracle on ice” clip I think I would have thrown out all my ice cubes and swear off any ice). But. This isn’t Olympics hockey anymore. This is NHL exhibition. Sorry. Just don’t think this is what the Olympics were created for. This is why we have the NHL.

Women’s Ice Hockey

Ok. I admit. Up until the gold medal game I bet I hadn’t seen more than 5 minutes total of women’s ice hockey. So the game and award ceremony was pretty enlightening.

First. The Canadian women are good. Really good. They skated circles around the USA women and should have scored at least three more goals on top of the two they got.

Second. I admit I also don’t watch many of the actual award ceremonies. But I got hooked watching this one (no. not because it was women.) So. Finland who took the bronze. Every single one of them looked so frickin’ happy and proud it reminds you that winning a bronze at the Olympics is really really special. There is this kind of lightly dazed look on some faces as they look down at that Olympics medal hanging around their neck. I think we forget in all the “who is winning the Gold” discussion how special the entire event is for each of the athletes and going home with a medal, any medal, represents a feat that 99.99% of the world will never truly understand.

Third. This is what the Olympics should be about. As they panned the faces these were girls, okay, young women. They were mostly not professional hockey players (I think there is pro women’s hockey in Europe). Regardless. Lots of young faces beaming with pride, some sadness with the losing team and that kind of young disbelief of “is this is truly happening to me.” Awesome. They should bottle this up.

Celebration controversy

Ok. I will ‘fess up here at the onset in the interest of full disclosure. This lil write up is coming from a guy who celebrated the completion of finals in his junior year of high school by going to happy hour at Hannibal’s in downtown Burlington with a bunch of friends for 5 for a dollar drafts. I was 16 (but I turned 17 in July). That said. C’mon. So the Canadian women drank some beer and champagne and smoked some stogies. And you don’t think the USA women didn’t? or the Swedish cross country team … or … well … any team.

So. How wild would you celebrate? Let me put winning (or getting a medal) in perspective.

There are 6,800,000,000 people in the world.

Ok. Only 82 countries send athletes to the Winter Olympics so let’s say for argument sake that represents 86% of total world population.

So that makes the Olympics countries represent 5,848,000,000 in population.

The fact you won a medal puts you in such a special minority I think we can safely say you deserve a cocktail if you want one.

Cacophony at Curling

Yelling. Lots of yelling. I am unclear whether they yell at each other, the competition or the stone (who seems relatively indifferent to everything). If I had a gold medal on the line and I am sweeping crap out of the way of the stone and someone in a shrill voice is screaming at me I would be quite tempted to shove the broom up their ass. Ok. maybe I would pull them off to the side and say “hey, listen, there are maybe 75 people in this whole frickin’ stadium and they probably got the tickets for free and don’t really care what is going on so I think I could hear what you have to tell me without screaming, ok?”

Next. The announcers.

“How exciting, they have two stones in the house!” (and this is women curling just to be clear).

“Time to skip stones” (and the water is frozen)

“This is double peel territory” (and I think the kitchen is in another section of the building)

And they say all these things not only without laughing but also with true enthusiasm. Awesome. They don’t get paid enough.

Speed Skating

So. Finally they do something in this speed skating thing that I not only understand but also kind of enjoyed watching. This team race thing. And I give huge props to the German team who utilized a baseball tactic to win one race. Coming down to the finish the third (the slowest) gal on the team dives for first base to beat the throw … and wins. Awesome. You would think staying on the skates would be faster but she pulled a Pete Rose (without the gambling) and squeaked out a win for the Germans.

And then there was the coaching error that caused maybe one of the biggest dudes in the entre Olympics a gold medal. Hagar the Horrible from the Netherlands was really really pissed when he won but didn’t win.

All because his coach told him to do something (once again the whole lane thing kinda confuses me) that
he shouldn’t have done. Some reporters took Hagar to task for how he responded after realizing he was disqualified. Ok. Look. The dude didn’t lose he was DQ’ed (and no that doesn’t mean he got a free blizzard at Dairy Queen). They could have penalized him seconds, minutes, a lap, whatever and he would still have crushed all the others. But no. No gold. Shit. No medal. No sponsor money (oops. that’s right. that doesn’t matter). Thank god these Netherlanders are passive and high on pot all the time or he may have gone really ballistic. Could you imagine if it had been a Russian (notice I am not picking on some American here)? Yikes. Igor would have obliterated the coach before our eyes. Give Hagar a break. I would have been pissed too.

This whole Biathlon thing.

I love writing about the biathlon because no one else does (and I am slightly fascinated by this whole skiing and shooting thing).

So. In the Women’s Biathlon Sprint event Slovakia’s Anastazia Kuzmina won with a score of “19:55.6”. Once again the scoring is one of those things that take a guidebook. Speed of skiing and penalties for misses. Anyway. It’s like 7 kilometers of skiing or something like that. And then they shoot at this miniature target of Osama bin Laden all with a heart rate of over 170 or something like that (apparently it is an incorrect belief that these shooters slow their heart rate to level the sighting). Just to give you some perspective it’s like maybe jumping rope for 15 straight minutes or doing a hundred straight jumping jacks a fast as you can and then sitting down with a pencil and writing all your valentine’s day cards (in a way someone can actually read them). Amazing stuff.

The guns are wacky looking but they do seem kind of lethal (so you don’t see a lot of spectators hanging out behind the targets).

And in the Men’s Biathlon Sprint event. (And I am still a little unclear how this merits a “sprint” heading .. see Summer Olympics hundred yard dash as example of confusion). Anyway. The top three were:

France. Vincent Jay

Norway. Emil Hegle Svendsen

Croatia. Jakov Fak

Never heard of them (but have heard of the countries). I just wanted to note the winners. I figured this may be the only time their names appear on our radar. Oh. Yeah, their fans (who I assume are mostly relatives or people who subscribe to Guns & Ammo), they are nuts. Think cowbells and big funny hats and horns. I am just not sure guys who ski and shoot rifles for a living are funny hat/cowbell spanking type of guys but, hey, whatever floats your boat. Maybe the tickets were for free. I went to a fencing event at the Atlanta Olympics because I had free tickets (but I left my cowbell at home … just blew a dog whistle every time someone did something great).

This whole mogul downhill (going downhill with lots of bumps and a couple of jumps) skiing thing.

Women’s version. Ok. Men’s version. I don’t care. My knees and lower back just start hurting every time I watch these contestants bounce their way down the hill. Their knees pump furiously as they pound down the course. Their runs are a brilliant mix of speed and technical skiing with daring back flips and “helicopter spins” and other amazing feats that seem to defy gravity. Who thought this crap up? Awesome.

Women’s ice hockey

The Canadian women’s hockey team, a two-time defending Olympic gold medalist, didn’t disappoint. The Canadians cranked out an 18-0 rout of Slovakia (exciting the 16,000 Canadian fans eager cheer to keep warm and disappointing the 496 Slovakian fans – who cheered anyway to keep warm). C’mon. 18 to zilch? And I thought Slovakia had ice rinks. Oh well. They would beat the crap out of Canada in a “bryndzove halusky” (small dumplings made of potato dough with sheep cheese and topped with scrambled bacon) cooking contest. I know that for sure.

This speed skating thing.

Yikes. First the solo stuff. Who decided to put that on television exclusively? 20 some laps of two guys skating around a really small rink with one hand tied behind their back (ok. that’s what it looked like). And then there is the group speed skating thing. In the huge wipeout fortunately the Koreans weren’t injured with those razor sharp blades flying in their pileup (thank god they weren’t North Koreans or some nukes may have been dropped). Anyway. This group speed skating is kind of like Indy car racing where the cars are inches apart and you cannot really fathom how they can stay so close to each other without hitting each other. But, it was kind of amazing to see the skaters in that one race self destruct at what would have been a 1-2-3 finish for them and allow the Americans to take the 2-3 positions in the race. These races often have a little bit of roller derby flavor. But on really big skates. And with funky colored outfits. I still admit I don’t really get it and it seems a little boring to me.

Cross country skiing.

Awesome. Today a really cute 22 year old Swede girl unexpectedly won her cross country event and puked after crossing the finish line (she still had a Crest bright big smile afterwards). The Polish woman, the favorite, collapses in fatigue maybe a minute from the finish (so that’s collapsing after maybe 23 minutes of cross country skiing). I need to watch more of this. Put it on prime time I say.

Oh. And how cool is it your coach (or I assume it is a coach and not some random spectator hovering at the side of the track) is screaming at the top of their lungs (and because it is in Swedish or Russian or Croatian I have no clue what they are saying) at the skier as they ski by. I assume they are saying something like “you are a lardass and an embarrassment to the queen (or whatever monarch is appropriate) and may your ancestors be hamsters if you don’t win a medal.” But the screaming person sludging their way through the snow beside the track is awesome. I would go if I could do that.