
Error messages in Haiku? - boredgamer2
https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/error-haiku.en.html
======
prakashk
Normal error message in Perl:

    
    
        $ perl -Mstrict -e 'say $x'
        Global symbol "$x" requires explicit package name (did you forget to declare "my $x"?) at -e line 1.
        Execution of -e aborted due to compilation errors.
    

With the addition of `Coy` module [1]:

    
    
        $ perl -Mstrict -MCoy -e 'say $x'
    
            -----
            Gautama dies near
            a monastry. Two woodpeckers
            fly over the lake.
            -----
    
                    Or Wunt's commentary...
    
                    Global symbol "$x" requires explicit package name (did you
                    forget to declare "my $x"?)
    
                            (Analects of -e: line 1.
                             Execution of -e aborted due to compilation
                             errors.)
    
    

[1]: [https://metacpan.org/pod/Coy](https://metacpan.org/pod/Coy)

------
lozf
A few times a month/year I'll get some email because the sender made a typo of
the domain they wanted. Postmaster notifies them with:

    
    
        your mistake not mine
        email sent to wrong address
        retry with more care

------
greendave
The old Net+ errors[1] are still golden. My favorite:

    
    
      A file that big?
      It might be very useful
      But now it is gone.
    

[1] [https://8325.org/haiku/](https://8325.org/haiku/)

------
rexarex
Juniper networking equipment has a hidden CLI command that spits out a nerdy
or sleep deprived haiku:

E.G

    
    
      Juniper> show version and haiku;
    
      IS-IS Screams,
      BGP peer flapping;
      I want my mommy!
    
      TTL down one
      the end nearer with each hop
      little packet, poof.
    
      Amazing photons
      Carry our data worldwide
      Never seem to stop
    
      My session is dead:
      Forgot to commit confirm.
      Where are my car keys?
    

For some reason, it’s hard to find all of them compiled in one place. I think
it changes over time depending on the version of JUNOS and the hardware
platform.

It was always a little uplifting when you had an incident occurring and you
needed a little something—anything—to keep you going (:

------
hanoz
What is it with Haiku? The whole 5-7-5 structure just doesn't ring true with
me at all. I mean, I get that it is enigmatic, but it just seems like it's
enigmatic purely by virtue of not having any other redeeming quality.

~~~
Palomides
a "correct" haiku is supposed to have a conceptual juxtaposition and a
traditional seasonal reference in addition to the syllable count

after reading a lot of them, I don't think either the poems or the form
translates well to english

~~~
anonymfus
This reminds me how some Russian poets in the year 2000 decided that as a
replacement to the elements of Haiku lost during an adaptation they need to
create a new dimension to it, and so Huiku (Хуйку, from the Russian swear word
хуй (dick)) was made which additionally requires first letters of every line
to combine into a Russian cursing.

Here is the manifest:
[https://lleo.me/huiku/manifest.htm](https://lleo.me/huiku/manifest.htm)

It contains an example:

    
    
        Сижу один под кустом, 
        Рот открыл в изумленье. 
        Удивительно лес красив. 
    

Which literally translates into "I am sitting alone under a bush, My mouth is
open in awe. The forest is amazingly beautiful." and first letters of each
line combine into "сру" which means "I am shitting".

May be similar idea can be used for English. Sadly English has way less three
letter swear words than Russian.

------
divbzero

      What I’d love to see
      is this for HTTP —
      status code haikus

~~~
gorloth

      Error 404:
      The item you are seeking
      Cannot be found here

~~~
Pamar
This is particularly good. Apart from the already mentioned seasonal
references, a common element is that the thirst two lines should seem
completely unrelated and the third one provides synthesis/closure.

------
ecpottinger
Clearly someone has not used Beos.

~~~
cosmotic
For reference:
[https://gist.github.com/benjaminoakes/e58a9ddb0ead8eefbbae40...](https://gist.github.com/benjaminoakes/e58a9ddb0ead8eefbbae40476d87cdf0)

Coincidentally, the open source remake of BeOS is called Haiku

~~~
Crestwave
That isn't just a coincidence: [https://www.haiku-os.org/about/faq/#where-
does-the-name-haik...](https://www.haiku-os.org/about/faq/#where-does-the-
name-haiku-come-from)

------
asdfasgasdgasdg
_Yesterday it worked / Today it is not working / Windows is like that_

Reflecting an understanding of the state of computing usability last updated
in the early 90s.

~~~
ttctciyf
> ‘I just installed KB4512941 and now Windows Search is broke and Cortana
> process in taskmanager takes 90% CPU,’ a Windows user wrote on Reddit.

> On Twitter, one gamer shared his pain after the update stopped his favourite
> game from working properly.

> ‘Very cool that Skyrim is broken,’ he wrote.

> ‘Yet another thing Windows updates has ruined for me. They’ve taken
> everything from me.’

\- [https://metro.co.uk/2019/09/09/microsoft-admits-
windows-10-b...](https://metro.co.uk/2019/09/09/microsoft-admits-
windows-10-bug-causing-problems-around-world-10710714/)

(Or find your own counterexamples:
[https://www.google.com/search?q=windows+update+destroyed](https://www.google.com/search?q=windows+update+destroyed)
)

~~~
Doxin
Windows update is the #1 reason I even ever moved to linux in the first place.

\- you can run updates whenever you like. no nag screens, no automatic reboots

\- even when you _do_ run updates you don't usually need to reboot and if you
do need to reboot you can choose when to do so yourself.

\- updates don't install ads or other unwanted crap

\- (on debian at least) updates don't tend to break anything.

\- no stalling boot

\- no stalling shutdown -- I can't count the amount of times I've stayed up
late because windows update was preventing shutdown.

\- still automatic updates _if you want_ with all of these advantages.

~~~
jimnotgym
Old news

~~~
Doxin
Yes. so? Just because you and I know that windows update is awful in
comparison to package managers on linux doesn't mean everyone does.

------
bryanrasmussen
The greatest error message in Haiku ever was:

I am so sorry.

Something struck me in the rear.

I just ... wound up ... here.

[https://avatar.fandom.com/wiki/Transcript:The_Tales_of_Ba_Si...](https://avatar.fandom.com/wiki/Transcript:The_Tales_of_Ba_Sing_Se)

------
emptybits
These are lovely and lighthearted with a 5-7-5 structure, but for anyone
interested in how English might actually express the spirit and content and
structure of haiku, here's a nice article.[1] Or, of course, WP as a jumping
off point.[2]

But long live creativity in constrained form, whatever the label!

[1] [http://britishhaikusociety.org.uk/2011/02/english-haiku-a-
co...](http://britishhaikusociety.org.uk/2011/02/english-haiku-a-composite-
view/)

[2]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku_in_English](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku_in_English)

------
gpvos

        I ate your Web page.
        Forgive me, it was juicy
        and tart on my tongue.
    

(MIT 404 error from the early web)

------
tgdnt
It's a shame that the word haiku is now used for any arbitrary collection of 3
lines with none of what would actually make them a haiku.

~~~
traes
And what would that be? They follow the 5-7-5 structure, are you just
disappointed by the lack of juxtaposition of something?

(Disclaimer: not a poetry buff, just reading other comments)

~~~
tgdnt
Well, I'm not a poetry buff either, but my superficial understanding is that a
haiku is characterized by humour and ambiguity, so that it would leave you
contemplating multiple possible senses, perhaps each one funnier or more
intriguing than the next. And perhaps there would be some tension in
understanding which meaning would be most intended, as it were. "...expressing
much and suggesting more in the fewest possible words." (Britannica) I think a
lot of contemporary haiku express little and suggest nothing.

Nothing wrong with the page or the writing there, I'm only saying that as the
word is increasingly used in a more superficial way as I think is the case
here, the historical form of poetry known as haiku has no name of its own any
more, which becomes a problem especially in the age of search engines where
present usage is all that matters.

My being grouchy plays a big part here too.

------
wackro
Reminds me of The Tao of Programming.

[https://www.mit.edu/~xela/tao.html](https://www.mit.edu/~xela/tao.html)

Huge pearls of wisdom.

------
dragonshed
An oldie but goodie

    
    
      > Server is willing  
      > Alas, the file is crafty
      > It cannot be found

------
Taniwha
EINTR please excuse me

what you were doing stops

now time for my stuff

