Fantasy League 2018 - Newsletter 6

Having received numerous e-mails about GDPR I wish to make clear that the Fantasy News privacy policy is that there isn’t one. No secret records of senior members are held by me as all are published or soon will be once my moles have fed them to me. I am not the only one without a policy however; as I got one of those five page Tallentire e-mails last week and spent ten minutes looking for the unsubscribe button but to no avail. It was Rex King for the RK trophy as he pipped Denise O’Neill to win by one point – well played both - whilst in the Old Codgers Trophy Beehive Doe was ‘walking back to happiness’ as his 67 net score saw off Editor Flash by one shot – congratulations you two also. We knew Bob had done well when he played first but stayed two hours on the terrace sporting a big grin.

​My form has dipped and wasn’t helped by the spraying on the course whilst I was playing as the board had a clear notice not to lick my balls. I enquired why this was necessary and was advised that it had to be done as we were in danger of being overrun by grasshoppers as conditions are just right for them this year. I didn’t believe it until I received an anonymous photo of the 18th green early one morning (see below) – more spraying please. Apparently grasshoppers stridulate (chirp) by rubbing their knees together and I have certainly noticed a few seniors stridulating lately but mainly in the rough near a tree. I have also discovered that the difference between crickets and grasshoppers is that one plays cricket and the other golf. Only hybrids or Robots play both. ​​​

Keeping my ear to the ground I overheard Benefits (dried up) Killington and Farquhar discussing cortisone injections. Having more than three a year is dangerous but some seniors have them in their tongues. (Doug and I played together at Maylands but no samples were taken).

​In the Fantasy league itself Bob Bon Burnham was Manager of the week, Trett and Polden lead in the interims, but Mr Dunsdon still leads overall. Finally an elite group of seniors had the front 9 to themselves on Saturday morning on Lady Captains Day. Thank you Teresa from all participants and particularly winner Michael Smith.

PS Please note that Stonewall Jackson is settling in but he’s an accountant and has already asked for commission on transfer fees involving him. Unfortunately Fantasy News will have to pass the costs onto our customers so he is now £1.10 to sign. Don’t tell Agent Tillett

​PPS Get well soon Dolly Appleby. Play that guitar for relaxation​

NB Past 2018 Newsletters can be viewed under the Archive button.

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