Saturday, March 13, 2010

Today, my bitty peanut turns one, and my how the time just flew. I know it has been a while since I have updated my blog, but I swear, an update is coming....

For now, it is Brynn's day:).

And in the tradition of what I posted on July 20th(ERIN), August 6th(MAELAN), and November 29th(ABRYA)... I present to you Brynn's Birth Story-

I knew from charting that the day I was due was not the 5th of March like my LMP date said, but in fact the 10th. This was the very first baby out of four that we had actually tried for. So when the 10th of March came with a full moon, I was certain that that would be the day. All day long I sat and waited for the contractions that I was sure were on their way. At about 11:30 PM I gave up hope. So I sat down to watch tv on my yoga ball. When my show ended at midnight on the 11th, I stood up to get a drink and my water broke. This was new to me as with all of my other children, my water broke right before they were born. I had heared that once your water breaks it is only a matter of time and contractions start, so I prepared myself for the onslaught.... that never came. I went to bed and woke up the next morning perfectly pregnant-but at least I knew in my head that 'this is the day.' All day long I had really strong contractions, but they were 30 minutes apart and not getting closer. We took our older three kids over to Ed's cousins house, and hoped that with the help of our midwife Laura we could get these contractions going... as something similar to this happened while I was having Maelan and with a little coaxing we had gotten full blown labor to progress. With this birth it wasn't happening. So, with regret, my midwife told me to get some sleep on this SECOND night after my water had broken. She said she expected that the contrax would pick up in the middle of the night and she would be back... and we would have a baby by morning! So I went to bed, but was woken up every 20 minutes with a pretty painful contraction. Morning broke... no baby... I was so bummed that I made Ed get me McDonalds breakfast (I never eat fast food). We went and got the older three girls, and was given full pity of our cousin that I was still pregnant. All day long I was just so defeated... and it was going on night 3 of walking around with my water broken. The baby wasn't moving much either. My midwife told me it was probably because she was tired from all of the stimulation she was getting by this LOOOONNNNGGG PETERING LABOR. Laura came out and checked on the baby, and she was fine. She checked me, and I was 5 cm. I had no fever, no infection... and waiting was the game. She did say that if I did not have the baby by Saturday morning, I should go into the hospital to be induced (NO NO NO NO!) So at her suggestion, I drank some dang castor oil, and Ed and I raked to WHOLE YARD (while my water was broken at 5 cm) as the snow had just melted for the year and we had not had a chance to do it before the snow came. After that, Ed and the girls were going to take a bike ride, but no sooner had I gotten into the house and a contraction came... and another, and another... and I knew they were the serious ones... so I hurried up and yelled to Ed and the girls not to leave, and that the baby WAS coming. We got the girls out to my parents, we got Laura over, and we got serious about having this baby. It was 5:20 when my contractions started and by 9:00 I was pushing. She came quick and fast and Laura knew something was wrong. With all of my other babies I was given them right away, but with Brynn, Laura hurried her away to a corner and started working furiously over her... giving her mouth to mouth and oxygen... trying to force air into her... trying to get her to breath. I had complete confidence in Laura... but I was scared. I got REALLY scared when she yelled at my husband to "CALL 911!" which he did... but thank god Laura got Brynnie breathing before the ambulance arrived. She did not breath almost a full 5 minutes after her birth. Thank God for Laura, my amazing midwife! The paramedics arrived and checked her over, and left. I finally got to hold her an hour after her birth, and of course she was perfect;). She was so weensie:) I remember her little bitty legs, and inchworm sized pinkies:). She nursed like a pro. Brynn is a special miracle... she is and always will be my littlest baby:). Born on Friday the 13th:).

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

So, what's new in our life? To begin with, the girls were all baptised in accordance with the Roman Catholic tradition on November 14th. Ed and I were so happy. We are even happier that the party afterwards is over. I have really never thrown a party, so I didn't know what to expect. There were quite a few people, and it did get a little busy and confusing, but all in all I think I did a great job.

Here is a picture of the girls in their pretty white dresses:).

And if you look very closely in the next picture, you might be able to see the glimmer of Brynn's new tooth! That's right, my last baby got a tooth... and before you ask, yes she does use it on me when I nurse her, and no... it's not fun...

Just as Brynn's new tooth broke through, my other baby LOST a tooth! Abrya has now joined the 'BIG PEOPLE TEETH' club... or so they say:)That is pretty much our life in a nutshell, stay tuned for Christmas, I know I'm ready;). Are you?

Sunday, November 29, 2009

There she is, Abrya Gweneth Rittersdorf, just a day old in her proud Daddy's arms...

And because it is her birthday I will keep with tradition and write all about my one and only botched homebirth... she was my transport baby:).

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays, and much to my dismay, the 2003 holiday was the only year I had to miss the traditional turkey around the table to wait for my very late baby. Ed and I were certain she was going to make her appearance any time. We decided to go out for dinner on Thanksgiving, which let me tell you, is not an easy feat. We ended up at Perkin's and probably ate some of the worst food possible, but while we were there I started feeling a little crampy... crampy enough for me to have to stop and think about the cramps. I had a feeling that that night might be the night. Thanksgiving was the 27th that year. Anyway, by the time we had gotten our oldest daughter to sleep *ERIN:)* it was late. I layed down and tried to sleep but was woken up repeatedly by contractions. I knew that this had to be "IT." However, the contractions were kinda weak, so I knew I had some time. I didn't bother to tell Ed that I was in labor until 6 in the morning, and he literally JUMPED for JOY at the news (we were waiting for a LONG time for labor to start:)). Well, we called Laura, our midwife. She came out, but much to our dismay, labor was taking forever... and it kept starting for a few hours and stopping and starting again.... you get the picture... and it was INFURIATING! It wasn't until around 8:30 PM on the 28th that labor REALLY picked up for me.... and let me tell you, it was the worst labor I have had to date. The back pain was unbearable. I knew something had to be wrong because with my first labor things went so smoothly that I had no desire to really scream out in pain, but with this labor it was all I could do to breath between contractions. I was bawling and screaming out; I was certain something was wrong. My midwife kept telling me that the baby had her head in a transverse position and that we had to wait for her to turn her head. Hours went by, and by 11:30 PM I was at the end of my rope. Laura broke it down for me and let me know that I could wait a few more hours and see if she would turn her head and then go to the hospital, or I could go to the hospital right now... either way, I was way too far into my labor for the epidural so I would have to endure the back labor no matter where I went. We opted for the hospital as I was exhausted. Laura stayed with our oldest daughter who had fallen asleep and Eddie took me to the hospital which was only five minutes down the road. I remember everything in just pictures from then on out. I remember walking into the emergency room of the hospital, and the lobby was dead. The nurses were watching television. When they looked up and asked what was wrong, I stated as calmly as possible that I was in labor... "YOU'RE KIDDING!" The nurse exclaimed... To which I said back "DO I LOOK LIKE I'M KIDDING?" They got me in a wheel chair and before I knew it I was in a hospital bed in the emergency room. The doctor on call came in with an ultrasound, and put the wand on my belly. He noted that the baby had a transverse head also and said to me "I am sorry Tara, I know you wanted a natural birth, but this baby needs to be taken by c-section right now!" That's when things really got scary, because not only was I in so much pain, I was about to have a c-section, which was the last thing I ever wanted to have to endure. Ed was very upset also, but we both understood. The nurses and doctors got up and started bustling around to get me up to the OR... but something happened. Abrya must have decided at that moment to turn her head because I got a sudden and STRONG urge to push, so I did. I remember the Doctor and the nurses all screaming at me "DON'T PUSH! DON'T PUSH!" to which I screamed back "I CAN'T HELP IT, SHE'S COMING!" and no sooner had I said that, and her little head popped out. I wish I could describe the look on the staffs faces at that moment, I think every jaw dropped. The doctor basically had time to grab a blue sheet to catch her before she was born. I looked at Ed just in time to see him burst into tears-which is saying alot because I have only seen him cry a handful of times in my whole life, and this was the only birth that he shed tears at... at 12:45 AM on November 29th... she was 8 lbs and 4 oz, 20 inches long. I just remember how small and beautiful she was. Her little hands were so precious to me. I am so happy to have her... my most painful labor brought me my beautiful little girl. She is so full of life and has such a fun personality. Happy Birthday Bry~! I love you:)

Monday, November 9, 2009

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Yep... that's me... at 17:)I thought by posting a teenage picture of me it would give people a visual of myself at this time of my life.

Today I was going through out filing cabinet and came across my book of poetry. I was an avid writer at this age (still am, but I generally write essays these days;)). My favorite was poetry. I wrote enough poems to fill a few books. It was like a walk down memory lane reading my poems. It has been so long since I walked down that road! And my goodness I have changed.

Here are a few of my favorites.

*This first one was inspired by my first time getting my heart broken*

Do I Hurt?

By Tara Lynne

Yes I do.

But someday,

As by and by I go,

I will reminice and be happy.

For as I let in I changed for the better...

We'll say so.

As of now, a waste of time it seems.

But as one molded one, one molded the other.

As a child drops a toy,

Shattered pieces of molded shape,

It can be rebuilt.

Maybe a small difference in appearence,

But the general idea makes her happy again,

As I will be happy again

When I can honestly realize we cannot be forgotten

On either part;

As we grow together,

Older, Wiser,

Apart...

Untitled

By Tara Lynne

A butterfly flirting with the wind,

A delicate sunset.

The birth of vernal equinox.

These words, my eyes have met.

To view autumn painting all the leaves,

Then mold it into word;

And once read over I can still taste

The fall, not seen, but heard.

They form eternal pictures

For everyone to see.

Of a world within mine eye

Whence my poem they gracefully read.

Thus pondering this notion,

I have come to find...

'Tis not the earth so beautiful,

But the beholder's mind.

My Love

*Dedicated to Eddie*

By Tara Lynne

A love so pure a love so true

It glitters like the rain

And guilds the heart just like a creek;

Flows within the vein.

It seeps so deep within the soul;

Like a fog rolls o'er land.

That it can be sensed within a touch;

A slight brush of the hand.

A love so pure a love so true

It ignites the day at start.

And love tastes love in lover's kiss

As sweet nectar of the heart.

Idle Day's

By Tara Lynne

What shall come of these idle days

And the time wrapped up within?

What shall come of these glorious moments

In which lingering we have been?

Where will all these minutes go

When today becomes the morrow?

Will they be filled with wonderful life;

Or be passed along with sorrow?

What shall come of these idle days?

Let today live and tomorrow be.

What shall come of these glorious moments?

As we live so shall we see.

My poems... It's been a long time since I retraced by steps down memory lane. I don't even know why I stopped writing them... You'd think I have all of the inspiration in the world now. Who knows? Perhaps my artist died with puberty...

Saturday, October 31, 2009

So recently I sent away for some new scents to make soap with. I picked out a scent called "Vanilla Lavender" because I am a big fan of both vanilla and lavender. When I opened my box full of scents, I happened to grab this one first and the moment I opened it I was brought instantly back to the day each of my children were born. Here is a little backstory...For each birth, I purchased Lavender scented candles to burn during my labors. Each and every one of my daughters was born into a room filled with the scent of Lavender. I bought these candles from the same company every time so every birth had that same wonderful aroma in the air. This Fragrance Oil was the exact match to the scent used in these candles and it brought back so many wonderful memories of homebirth and newborns that I had to soap with it right away. I made a wonderful 'white-with-pink-swirls' batch of soap. I still don't have a name for it, but I whatever name I come up with I want it to pack a little meaning and feeling as this scent has so much meaning and feeling for me. Maybe 'Mother and Child' soap? I don't know for certain yet, but I do know that I now have soap to wash with that will bring me back to the days that I met each and ever one of my daughters.