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Numberous FUnny thingys....LONG!

REAL EMAIL ADDRESSES!

Many colleges and business's tend to strip the last name down to 6
characters and add the first and last initial to either the beginning or
end to make up an E-Mail address. For example, Mary L. Ferguson =
mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the
problems that may happen when you have a large and diverse pool of people
to choose from.
Add to that a large database of company/college acronyms and you have
some very funny addresses. Probably not funny to the individualinvolved,
however:

A helicopter was flying around Seattle yesterday when an electrical
malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and
communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not
determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten
sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE
AM I?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a
large sign, and held in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A
HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the
course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU
ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position. The pilot
responded "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar
to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely
useless answer."

_____________________________________________________________________

FLOPPY DRIVE!?!?!?

One day while returning to my desk after a routine call, a young lady
flagged me down and asked for help. "My floppy drive won't work, can you
help me?"

I told her I'd take a look and proceeded over to her machine, where I
found shredded up clear plastic baggie-like stuff hanging out of her 3.5"
floppy drive. While I spent the next 20 minutes getting her disk out and
digging out the plastic, I noticed two guys in the corner trying awful
hard to keep a straight face. I asked her how the plastic got in the
drive.

"Oh, you mean the condom? Yes, John & Dave over there told me to always
put a condom on my disk before inserting it to prevent it from catching
viruses." By this point, John & Dave were roaring and it was all I could
do to keep from joining them. The "condom" turned out to be a standard
3.5" plastic sleeve. I delicately explained to her that a practical joke
had been played and she shouldn't do that anymore, when she asked, "Does
that mean that I don't have to stroke it ten times or blow on it either?"
_______________________________________________________________
(just a couple more)

This next one is my favorite...ive encountered people like this working at my brothers store

STUPID QUESTIONS!

A woman called the Cannon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asker her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman
then responded, "NO, my desk is next to the door. But that's a good
point... The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,
and his is working just fine."

Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: "I'd like a mouse pad, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"

I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document
back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to
keep it.

Customer: "Can you copy the internet for me onto this diskette?"

I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go
something like this:
Customer: "Hi... Is this the internet?"

Some people pay for their online services with check made payable to
"The Internet."

Customer: "So, that will get me connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh... uh... uh...yeah."

what about the woman that wants to put her paintings in the internet but says that there can be no computers...
she calls a isp
isp says that price depends on the computer(server)
and she keeps saying that she wants to make a online exhibition with no computers