Who says you can't have it all? It was a loaded question before it was a Michelob Light beer commercial or an Alan Jackson song. Particularly for working mothers, the notion of "having it all" makes people feel like they're neglecting something—their jobs or children or going to the gym—as compared to the marvelous multitaskers depicted in the media. The feeling of missing out on something is so pervasive, only 9 percent of working parents describe their work/life balance as "great" or say they're not stressed out about it.

The figure comes from a new survey of working parents conducted by FlexJobs, an online resource for flextime and freelance work opportunities. The FlexJobs survey found virtually universal demand for more flexible working arrangements: 99 percent of respondents said having a flexible job would make them a happier person. On top of that, 93 percent thought it would make them a more involved parent, and 89 percent thought it would make them a more attentive spouse/partner. Plus, half of those surveyed said breaking free of the 9-to-5 grind would improve their sex life.

And today's working parents (to quote another old commercial) aren't saying, "Calgon, take me away!" They're saying, "Telecommuting, take me away!" When asked which types of flexibility they'd most like to have at work, 77 percent mentioned telecommuting all the time while 34 percent mentioned telecommuting sometimes. (Fifty-three and 37 percent, respectively, cited flexible and part-time schedules.)

Whether it's taking care of the kids (the most frequently mentioned reason, ahead of work/life balance, for desiring a job with more flexible options) or taking care of themselves (a majority said they felt their work situation was unhealthy), there's clearly pent-up desire for home office work. To dig below the survey numbers, I reached out to FlexJobs founder and CEO Sara Sutton Fell for an email interview excerpted below.

PCMag: It's become a cliché to talk about having it all at work and in your personal life. How do you define having it all? Is it the same thing as having a work/life balance?

Sara Sutton Fell: I believe the definition of "having it all" can certainly vary, but there are typically three common threads: having a successful career, having a healthy relationship, and having thriving children, all at the same time. I feel each of these key items requires a big time commitment, carries a significant responsibility that is accountable to others, and bears a distinct pressure of not just having a career/relationship/child but also being the best professional/partner/parent possible.

Working mothers are the most common group of people who feel these pressures, but men are definitely not exempt, especially those who are actively involved in their household and child-related duties. Whoever it is, we're often expected by our cultural norms, by our employers, and yes, by our federal economic family policies, to be everything, to everyone, at our best, and at all times—which is simply impossible. These types of expectations—and lack of widespread support options—set us up for some level of failure, and need to be better addressed in society, in companies, and at a national policy level.

I view "having it all" and "work-life balance" similarly in that they are both a journey and not an endpoint. We need to understand our priorities and adjust our lives so that we're striving toward our own priorities. And the knowledge that our priorities shift over time (particularly when raising children because what they need and want from us changes so much depending on their age) really helps to keep me mindful that having it all right now isn't going to be the same for me as having it all next year, or perhaps even next month.

PCMag: Why are people so stressed about their jobs?

Sutton Fell: According to our survey, parents are most stressed at work because of inflexible work hours and locations, and because they're working too many hours. Their top three responses to make their job situations better would be the ability to work from home, to have a flexible schedule, and to have a part-time schedule. The majority, 56 percent, would prefer to work between 30 and 40 hours, and 77 percent would like to work from home full time. The traditional workplace structure too often doesn't support employees with these kinds of options.

PCMag: Do people have realistic or rosy expectations about working from home?

Sutton Fell: I'm sure there's a mix of both, and those terrible stock photos of people working from home with babies on their laps don't help much! They show people watching television, playing with their kids, and even lying on the beach as a representation of working from home. So, if someone buys into those ideas, they're in for a big surprise.

People who work from home are really working, and as studies have shown, can actually work more productively and effectively than in-office workers. In fact, people who work from home need to be careful to avoid overwork by setting up a clear schedule for themselves, and taking time to really step away from work when the day is done. Those same studies find that telecommuters report higher levels of happiness and are less likely to leave their jobs, and even their children are happier. So there are some pretty great benefits to working from home, as long as you're realistic about the situation and treat it as real work.

PCMag: When asked about their dream job, respondents chose telecommuting all the time, followed by flexible and part-time work and telecommuting sometimes. Does that jibe with what companies usually offer?

Sutton Fell: The demand for 100 percent telecommuting jobs is higher than what companies usually offer. That said, what many people don't realize is that telecommuting takes many forms, and all-the-time telecommuting is only one of them. We see a mix of companies offering occasional, mostly, or complete telecommuting, as well as flexible and part-time schedules. Another common misconception is that working from home also means working from anywhere, but the majority of telecommuting jobs also have a geographical requirement such as city or state.

Another factor can be the time of year for certain industries that do hiring with particular types of flexibility. For example, over the winter, work-from-home accounting jobs increase greatly because tax season begins. So much of what we post depends on the time of year and the hiring needs of companies in different industries.

PCMag: Any other thoughts about how working from home can affect the work/life balance?

Sutton Fell: It's not just working from an office that stresses people out—it's everything it takes to get to and from that office every day. Getting the kids up and out the door so you can head into rush-hour traffic; commuting an average of 25 minutes each way; getting dry cleaning done to maintain your office wardrobe; spending money on lunches and coffees out; paying for car maintenance and gas or train or bus fare every day—these things all take a tremendous toll on people's work-life balance, and they're all instantly eliminated when someone starts to work from home full-time.

Even if they're only working from home one or two days a week, that's a huge reduction in the things that cause us stress. Working from home, or even having a flexible schedule, allows people to make better use of their time, and to take care of themselves and their families. It gives people freedom and control over their daily lives and that's always a good thing for work-life balance.

Are you stressed out by your job or a lucky home-based worker? Has your company considered telecommuting? Sound off in the comments or at homeoffice.eric@gmail.com.

About the Author

Formerly editor-in-chief of Home Office Computing, Eric Grevstad is a contributing editor for PCMag and Computer Shopper, where he earlier served as lead laptop analyst and executive editor, respectively. A tech journalist since the TRS-80 and Apple II days, Grevstad specializes in lightweight laptops, all-in-one desktops, and productivity software... See Full Bio

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