About The Ugly Volvo

I am a writer and stand up comic raising a child in Jersey City. I live in a two bedroom apartment that I foolishly thought would be big enough for three people and a dog and all of the stuff that comes along with having a baby. Clearly, I am an idiot.

I have an occasionally dark sense of humor. Nothing I write is ever intended to offend. Most of what I write is nonsense.

PLEASE FEED TWIZZLERS TO THE BUTTERFLIES

I’m not sure what else is relevant, so here is a version of the “About Me” I used for a tutoring service I used to work for. And yes, I know it should be “a tutoring service for which I used to work.” Sometimes I will end sentences in prepositions. I know it is wrong. I am sorry. But sometimes it sounds better. Sometimes I will also use “their” when I know I am supposed to use “his/her.” Please know that every time I do it I feel terrible.

About Me
Here is some information About Me!

I watch a lot of documentaries on Instant Netflix. I love The World According to Garp and everything by Shel Silverstein and I read The New Yorker but mainly I read it for the cartoons. I have a phobia of jewelry. I have a horrible sweet tooth and could easily eat nine boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in one sitting. (Update: I have a cavity.) Sometimes I daydream about living in other countries and then immediately go online to look up the size of the spiders in those countries.

I wear almost the exact same outfit every day. I am married to someone who speaks three languages and there are days when I feel like I barely speak English. I love stand-up comedy and Far Side cartoons and books about science. When I like songs I will obsessively listen to them on repeat for hours or days until everyone nearby wants to throw me and my CD player out a window. Yes, for whatever reason I still play music on a CD player.

I have a very nice mother and an eccentric father. I have two younger sisters and a dog named Tig and a husband who obsessively follows international weather patterns the way other men follow sports. I have a wonderful son who makes me smile a lot of the time. My first car was an old, ugly Volvo that I loved so much and that’s why the blog is called The Ugly Volvo. I wish there were a more interesting story behind it but there isn’t.

I have a book coming out in Fall of 2016 through Chronicle Books. When we get closer to fall of 2016 I will write about that in slightly more detail.

If you enjoy my posts, like The Ugly Volvo on Facebook or follow me on here (www.theuglyvolvo.com) or follow me on Twitter. If there’s a post you like, please share it with friends as I love writing but am notoriously bad at promoting things. I try to post around once a week.

Here is a hastily taken photo of me, the baby, the dog, and the humidifier I kept meaning to return because it stopped working.

I am the one in the middle. Baby is on the left, dog on the right. The humidifier is the blue thing on the floor in the center.