October 19, 2012

Okay, now we know why the Alliance is the Chicago Cubs of Azeroth: this is the quality of their soldiers. I mean, I get that “kill the dudes to get the keys to open the cages and let your dudes out” is a standard type of quest, but honestly, guys! They’re not even cages! They’re roofless, rickety bundles of twigs put together by mentally defective monkey people! An asthmatic toddler could kick his way out of them. Or, I don’t know, climb out the open top!

In Burning Crusade we went to went to a broken world full of rampaging demons. In Wrath we went to a frozen wasteland full of rampaging undead. In Cataclysm we went to shattered landscapes full of rampaging elementals and cultists. In Pandaria we go to a lush, tranquil land full of happy panda people who want to tell us stories and teach us how to cook. It’s a bit of a shock to the system.

Oh, and a virtual Tootsie roll to everyone who recognizes the movie Thizzible thinks she’s in.

October 5, 2012

Playing my monk is a lot of fun, but it’s hard to go through the names in my spellbook and not feel like I’m trapped somewhere between Tao Te Ching and the take-out menu for the Golden Fortune Palace down the road.