
Ask HN: What are your tips to reduce drinking alcohol? - bentossell
I don&#x27;t want to go teetotal, I enjoy a drink and drinking socially, at dinners, weekends etc. But there are times I drink too much and forget what happened the night before or get anxious that I did something or said something. I only ever drink on a weekend and not throughout the week.<p>Justin Kan just announced he&#x27;s giving up drinking alcohol: https:&#x2F;&#x2F;twitter.com&#x2F;justinkan&#x2F;status&#x2F;1120188473263050758 and I admire people who do this. But I always see info&#x2F;tips on giving up completely, what about just keeping a lid on it?
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gottebp
My grandfather was an alcoholic. It came about because of the great sorrow he
felt after his own father died in a car accident. A small drink each day
became a larger one. This iterates. Time passes. I remember when he was in
rehab once, as a child I was brought to visit him. His genuineness was so
magnified. He was such a good man sober; well known and loved by many in the
town through his small business. He never broke free for long though. Never
violent but never fully there because his faculties were always suppressed by
the effects.

After many years, when his health was failing, he begged us grandchildren not
to follow this path. The regret was so palpable. This was later in my college
years, and with all the parties it was hard to pull back. Augustine once
wrote, "To many, total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation". It is a
respectable path especially for anyone too far along. I am no teetotaler
either though. Moderation is also admirable.

I set two limits and they have worked fairly well in my own life:

1) No more than two reasonably sized drinks in a day.

2) Never drink alone.

I nurse those drinks along and savor each tiny sip. It has worked well for
over ten years and prevented ramping up into anything further. A suggested
third rule that has grown on me is:

3) Drink only to amplify joyful occasions never to drown sorrowful ones.

It may not be for everyone however perhaps this will help some. Godspeed.

------
La-ang
Change your social circle and engage in a radical (to you) sport that requires
lots of stamina and endurance (Muay Thai). In short, the lifestyle you have
loves conjuncting with alcohol. Sports are a major player. Not only the body
gets hammered but the mind as well. I used the same method before to quit
smoking. Even if you will show up at social events you won't have the same
longing for Booz as you used to. I firmly believe this apply to the general
public. Athletes in general do not drink as much as the average joe ( If they
do at all). It's funny how people want an easy not so harsh solution to their
problems, because there simply isn't. Once the elephant in the room starts
ballooning you need to set your ego aside and admit you need change; major
change.

~~~
ativzzz
I second this one. It is difficult to just change a habit on a whim. A high
intensity sport (like a martial art) requires changing lifestyle habits if you
really want to see serious progress.

~~~
La-ang
You missed my last point. It's not meant to be easy.

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ilaksh
I think I have a different view on this than most people here.

It seems that there is a tendency to simply suggest that anyone who does
drinks to excess sometimes is an alcoholic and therefore is a special case who
cannot drink.

What I observe is that most (not only a special few) people who drink have
times where they over-do it and it usually has significant negative
consequences in those cases.

In my opinion people want to blame the individual because they love alcohol
and don't want to admit that it could be a problem in itself.

I think there is a basic thing working against everyone who intends to
moderate their alcohol consumption which is that alcohol reduces your ability
to make good decisions. So on a bad day or circumstance with a reduced
cognitive capacity, anyone can make a wrong decision about whether to have
another drink.

So personally I think the answer is just to find other activities that are fun
that don't require alcohol. Also this idea that anyone who runs into problems
is an alcoholic is false and effectively stigmatizes people who decide to quit
because it has the suggestion that they are an alcoholic and something is
wrong with them.

If you sometimes run into problems with alcohol it's not you. It's the
chemical. Don't let people try to blame you for it.

To me the answer for social lubrication is just to have some kind of structure
for group activities, in other words a game. It works fine. You don't see kids
walking around depressed because they couldn't go drinking with their buddies.
Kids have activities and play games and have fun. There is nothing about being
an adult that makes it so you can no longer have fun without alcohol.

------
neekburm
You might consider the Sinclair Method. [https://cthreefoundation.org/the-
sinclair-method](https://cthreefoundation.org/the-sinclair-method)

You take an opioid antagonist, like naltrexone, 1 hour prior to drinking.
Since drinking produces endorphins, which are blocked by the antagonist, the
brain stops associating drinking with pleasure, which results in a lower
desire to drink.

The downside being that if you drink without the antagonist, your brain
returns to its old patterns.

Anecdotally, my personal experience was after trying the method was that I no
longer wanted to drink, and when I did, with or without the naltrexone, my
problematic drinking behaviors mostly went away. I mostly abstain now.

~~~
throwaway127831
Upvoted. TSM worked wonders for me. I’m now past 9 months of total abstinence
after using TSM for about 8 months leading up to quitting.

The idea of counter-acting the dopamine rush one gets from drinking makes a
world of sense. Alcohol is a fundamentally addictive substance and naltrexone
can help loosen its hold on your brain.

Abstaining now is fairly trivial. I pretty much never have the impulse to
drink.

I think a lot of folks see Sinclair method as somehow cheating or “having your
cake and eating it too”. While that may be an alluring idea, the reality is
you wind up just not wanting to drink. I now associate drinking with how
naltrexone makes me feel, which is not the most fun experience.

------
paddy_m
When I lived in NYC I started inviting friends for a "walk and talk" instead
of going to a bar. Going to a bar is such a generic crutch for "I want to
spend some time with you". Walking around the city and catching up while on a
nice amble was a refreshing change. Saved some money too.

~~~
peepanpeter
This is a really good advice. I have started going on walks with my friends as
well instead of going to a pub. Inspires ideas and you get way clearer
thoughts.

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hashberry
If you're not a "one or two drinks" type of person and alcohol is a negatively
impacting you, then you really have to permanently stop drinking like Justin
Kan. The average drinker "keeps a lid" by moderating their intake because they
know how to stop. It's that simple. If you don't know how to stop, then you
have to stop completely.

~~~
abstractbarista
This is something I guess I cannot understand about people who consume alcohol
to the point of blacking out... For me the consequences are so harsh I just
never seek to near that point. I achieve a certain level of buzz, and simply
maintain it, sipping throughout the social event. It's quite pleasant, doesn't
take many drinks to uphold, and I don't feel hungover in the morning. Maybe
some of it is just "brain wiring"?

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lisper
> there are times I drink too much and forget what happened the night before

That's bad.

You may not be able to reduce your alcohol consumption. Not everyone can.
But...

> I only ever drink on a weekend and not throughout the week.

That's a good sign. So what's happening here is that alcohol lowers your
inhibitions. When you're sober, you have control over yourself, which is why
you can get through the week. When you start drinking, you lose that control,
so you keep drinking, and you pass out. Whether you can drink without crossing
that threshold is an open question. Like I said, not everyone can do that. For
some people, one drink pushes them over the edge.

Do this experiment: next weekend, don't drink at all.

If you can do that, then the FOLLOWING weekend have ONE drink and STOP.
(That's one drink for the WHOLE WEEKEND. Not one drink on Friday and another
on Saturday.)

If that works out OK, then the NEXT weekend, have two and then stop. Not all
at once. Pace yourself. At least an hour between drinks. If that works out OK,
then the NEXT weekend go up to three.

If at any time you find yourself thinking, "This is all OK, I can have one
more" then STOP. That's the danger sign.

If at any stage in this process you find yourself making excuses for why it's
OK short-circuit any step in the process, then I have bad news for you: you're
an alcoholic, and if you don't want to keep blacking out you're going to have
to just stop.

UPDATE: raztogt21 also had some very good advice: never drink alone. It also
helps to let your drinking buddies know that you're on this program so that
they can help keep an eye on you. If your friends ever encourage you to drink
past your limit, get new friends.

~~~
brodouevencode
My fear is that OP is an alcoholic (yes, you can be an alcoholic without
drinking - it's that you're genetically predisposed to having a drinking
problem). In this case abstinence is the only answer. If you have problems to
which you cannot give up even a weekend then that's a red flag.

~~~
lisper
Yes, I share your concern. That's why I framed the answer the way I did. But
not everyone who occasionally drinks to excess is an alcoholic.

~~~
favorited
And, despite popular belief, there are other ways to manage alcoholism than
the 12 steps & total abstinence.

~~~
brodouevencode
Are the other methods better? What are those methods?

~~~
favorited
One medical option mentioned upthread is the Sinclair Method. It involves
taking medicine like Narcan before drinking. The medicine blocks the
endorphins released by drinking, so you don't get the pleasurable "reward."
You basically retrain your brain, reducing your desire to drink.

When I was struggling with alcohol, I found that I needed a secondary reason
to manage my drinking. Once I decided that I wanted to start dating more, and
realized that my drinking and the related weight gain was an impediment, it
was an incentive to reduce my alcohol intake to a more responsible amount.

I didn't quit– I still love California wine and I'm building a nice
collection. And when seasonal beer that I like comes out, I definitely pick
some of it up. But it doesn't control me like it used to.

------
PaulHoule
My take is that you're better off finding a social life that is not alcohol
fueled.

I have never "blacked out" but I did get in trouble with my extended family
for going to parties with an open bar, drinking too much, and acting like an
ass.

That for me was a wake-up call.

Then there was the time that we made a huge amount of applejack and around the
holidays I would drink consistently quite a bit and find that if I didn't
drink my body felt warm and I was a little irritable and I figured that was a
sign of getting physically dependent -- that was a wake up call too.

More recently I've found that I usually wake up with a glucose reading around
95 (good but not great), but if I drink alcohol and have disrupted sleep I get
a glucose reading around 120 (flaming diabetic).

As a result of that it is really rare that I drink these days. Maybe I have a
beer or two now and then but not on a regular basis.

For me the consequences and fear of consequences has been sufficient
motivation.

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ziddoap
YMMV, but after a substantially embarassing night (that I found out about the
following day) I realized that the feeling of wondering if I did something
embarassing (or, horror of finding out that I did) was quite a bit worse than
the good feelings I got from drinking that much.

Now, whenever I drink I keep those thoughts in the forefront of my mind. I
know I will have _more_ fun if I don't go overboard - with a bonus that I
don't need to worry about anything the following day. Whenever I'm approaching
my limit, I weigh each drink with these thoughts in mind. What will be more
fun? An extra drink, potential embarassment, and lots of anxiousness? Or a
glass of water, no embarassment, and no anxiousness?

I imagine this requires friends who wont egg you on. I'm lucky to have a group
of friends that understand when I say "I'm done for tonight", they say "okay,
no problem! want a water? pop?" rather than encouraging me to get black-out
drunk.

~~~
cimmanom
This. Except for me it’s the hangover rather than the embarrassment.

It can help to find something that isn’t water to drink that will make your
companions feel less like they’re leaving you out - be that soda, juice, club
soda, etc.

------
jppope
1\. Build a budget for drinking. Nothing caps it like limiting the amount that
you can spend on it. 2\. Have your socializing focus on activities as opposed
to drinking. E.G. If you are bowling you'll be more focused on the game and
than you are on the drinking. 3\. Drink a glass of water in between each
drink. Double bonus for reducing hangover effects 4\. Buy a breathalizer. Yep!
A weird one but you can keep the BAC below the driving limit and you'll be
pleasantly surprised. 5\. Change locations often, and walk in between
locations. First this is great for getting quality time with your friends.
Second, you can use this trick to save money (happy hour in one place, dinner
in another). Third, there will be prolonged periods of time between each
location that you will not be drinking.

Sounds like you could also benefit from just imbibing drinks that are limited
in alcohol content. Session Beers, Campari spritz, some sakes etc.

~~~
chirau
What if your workplace is part facilitator? Many a startup's fridges are full
of beers and other alcohol in full view. Which, I think makes both 1 and 2 a
challenge.

For 3, i feel like drinking a glass of water in between drinks, though a good
though, only eggs you on to drink more drinks since you know you are
countering it at each turn.

~~~
jppope
The author of the original post said that he doesn't drink during the week. I
would agree that a fridge full of beer makes it harder.

------
peepanpeter
This is just a personal anecdote, but after taking Ecstasy/MDMA once around 9
months ago i realised how bad the alcoholic "high" is. Since then i have been
drinking way less. Often only one or two beers, then i'm done. I guess what im
trying to say is to reflect over who you become and how alcohol affects your
personality, temperament and motoric skills when drinking alcohol excessively.
Knowing i will become bad at speech, get bad motorics, and start focusing more
and more on sex, and will start behaving like a cave-man towards women and men
alike makes me think of alcohol in a totally separate light than before.

------
bluewater
I started to really question my drinking over the last year or so. During the
week I would drink a few beers or glasses of wine a night with a martini or
other cocktail sprinkled in. The weekends would often involve more with a
heavy hangover coming after neighborhood parties. I’ve gone the route of
moderation and counting drinks and it was difficult to do, depressing and left
me feeling deprived much of the time. One day I was in a forum reading a
question much like this and someone mentioned a book called This Naked Mind by
Annie Grace. It’s been a game changer for me and I’d highly recommend it. She
actually suggests continuing to drink normally while you read it. She dives
into a lot of the science and really opens your eyes to the world of alcohol
around you. I haven’t stopped completely and I’m not sure if I ever will but
the pull that booze had on me before is gone and I can confidently feel I’ll
have a drink whenever I want; the idea of allowing yourself that freedom is
empowering. Over the last 6 months I’m down maybe 75%. The social pressures
are really the hardest for me now. The line of questioning you get is intense
and something I was guilty of doing myself to others who weren’t throwing them
back with me at the time. Best of luck in your own journey wherever it takes
you.

------
DanBC
Set a limit before you go out. Alternate alcoholic drinks with other drinks.
Chose smaller weaker drinks. Ask your friends and family for support with your
new lower limits.

[https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-support/tips-on-
cutting...](https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-support/tips-on-cutting-down-
alcohol/)

------
sjg007
Take it one day at a time. Tell yourself that today I will not drink. There
are other methods, such as to be curious about your behavior.. ask questions
of why you drink or ask yourself why you are drinking too much. You can find a
therapist who would help with that. Be curious and explore what are the
conditions that you find yourself wanting a drink and what reasons may account
for them. Can you replace alcohol with something else? Then there's naltrexone
and other medical interventions that work well. Essentially you redirect your
biology and associate alcohol with feeling sick so your body will develop an
aversion to it. Other methods include changing your group of friends if they
are a source of drinking as well unless are ok being sober in their company.
You can also join AA or find a sponsor. AA doesn't work for everyone but it
sure does show you a cross section of life and how alcohol impacts it.

------
cableshaft
For me, having hobbies that don't often include drinking seems to help. I play
board games, go to book discussions, writer's groups, attend hack nights, go
see a movie, go out hiking with people.

Depending on the group, there could be alcohol involved, but usually there
isn't, in my experience (or just one or two people will drink, and only a
glass or two).

For me it very much depends on who I'm with. I once dated a girl that loved to
get wasted on alcohol on dates, and I liked her so I drank a lot with her
myself. The current woman I'm dating gets sick if she drinks alcohol, so I
pretty much only drink a drink here or there when I meet up with her family or
I'm out with certain friends. I easily go six months without a drink now, and
usually not much more than a couple of drinks a month.

If I drink too much my next day is completely unproductive, and I hate that,
so that also helps to keep me from drinking too much also.

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leesec
Hard limit at 3. Never more. That's it. You don't need more than 3 in a night.
Enjoy those 3. Never cross it.

------
thorin
I used to drink quite a bit as a student and for a few years after uni. It's
very common in the UK.

Now I have children I'd be up in the night quite a lot and if you were drunk
it would feel horrendous. Also there is the possibility that you might need to
be there for them if they were sick or need to go to hospital in the middle of
the night. Additionally I like to do a lot of sport in my free time and I
struggle to do anything even a gentle bike ride or walk if I've had a drink.

A couple of years ago I set myself a 2 drink limit. I've only broken it once
or twice and I don't see that as an issue. Most of the time it means I'm ok to
drive in an emergency, can be up early without a hangover and can stay active.
I have a beer at home 2 or 3 times a week and really enjoy it so I don't think
drinking alone is an issue for me.

Wish I'd done it years ago!

------
NicoJuicy
It's easy for social drinking, I did it to.

There are some great 0% beers out there in Belgium. I personally recommend
"Brugse Zot" ( with alcohol) and "Sport Zot" ( without alcohol), nobody will
see the difference and it will make it a lot easier. ( Both taste great)

If you go to someone at home, just bring 1 pack of each with you and drink the
0%. It's the best trick I found out to reduce social drinking.

Just drink 1 of 2 without and try it out. It's actually not much different,
the social "vibe" is the same.

The biggest difference seems to be when you drink water ( socially)

Ps. Only drank 1 evening in the weekend. But it was mostly when I had a lot of
stress from work, that I drank too much

------
craftinator
Don't buy alcohol. Seriously, when there's no booze around, I don't drink.
When there is booze around, I often end up drinking ALL of it. Don't buy it,
and you're good to go.

~~~
saddestcatever
True!

You can "out plan" temptation if you avoid making decisions in the moment.

Though - the same as a careful diet - social engagements throw a wrench in the
discipline machine. Restaurants, bars, parties, etc.

~~~
craftinator
Ah yeah, true true. I tend to deal with the social temptations by
"pauperizing", as my wife describes it. I was very, very poor in college,
would often eat before social engagements to avoid prepared meal prices etc...
So now when everyone is having drinks, I pretend I'm too poor to afford them,
always walk to the bar and grab a soda water on the rocks. Everyone assumes
I'm drinking a mixed, and I can always DD. It's interesting how being that
frugal can improve my discipline, rather than degrade it!

------
chirau
What is a 'normal amount'? Is there a way of calculating this?

I know people who drink three drinks and they are gone. I also know people who
drink 6 drinks a day, don't black out, get home safe and are fully(seemingly,
not sure) functional and productive the next day.

Reducing to 'normal' or some level has to be backed up by meaning i think. And
that meaning of normal is what I am trying to discover.

------
jchallis
Precommit. When you go to drink tell everyone (including the barkeep) your
limit. When you have had a few and your inhibitions drop, come back to your
precommitment.

Do not keep alcohol in your house - inconvenience is a friend of sobriety.

Remember the old saw about alcoholism : first you take a drink, then the drink
takes a drink. A little bit of a runaway process may not be in your control.

------
sunstone
One technique that's worked for me is drinking a good non-alcoholic drink. In
my case Beck's non-alcoholic beer is the best I've found. It's not cheap and
costs more than the the usual beer I drink.

It's good enough though that I hardly notice when I drink it rather than my
usual, traditional 5pm beer.

------
nf05papsjfVbc
Ensure you've eaten well.

Pick a drink which has a taste to your liking. Relish it while you drink it.

Drink a glass of water between drinks.

Stop after a couple of drinks. This is much easier if you've done the above.

(This may turn out to be rubbish advice but there may be a good idea or two in
there.)

------
ryanlol
I’m in the middle of a $5000 bet with a friend on who can stay completely
sober the longest.

This seems to be working great for both of us, it’s been almost a month with
no end in sight.

It’s crazy how satisfying non-alcoholic beers are, can’t say I really miss
“real” beer.

------
TheAlchemist
I would highly recommend the book "Alcohol Explained" by William Porter.

I found it very simple yet powerful - down to earth and practical, cold
explanation about every side of drinking alcohol.

------
raztogt21
1\. Never drink alone

2\. Socially, never have more than 2

Follow those two rules, and you should be fine.

------
bradstewart
Count your drinks. It's way too easy to just say "yea I'll have one more" when
you're not consciously thinking "well, I've had 6 already..."

------
vkaku
Looks like your system is already giving negative feedback and you are
reacting to it.

------
beavisthegenius
Remove the psychological pressure that's driving you to drink and you'll find
you don't want to drink. I changed my job and dumped all my drinking friends.
I'm also ok forging my own path without friends so that part was easy for me.

------
billybrown
[https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/)

------
npc_george123
I never keep alcohol in my house. If I am really craving a beer, I might buy a
six pack, drink one, then throw the other five in the trash.

~~~
chelmzy
Why not just purchase 1 beer without the six pack?

~~~
npc_george123
I buy the one beer unless it isn't sold individually. Only maybe once a year
would I buy a six pack and only drink one.

------
ko-ko-ko
Drink hard liquor.

It may depend on the culture of your country and social circle, but cutting
beer, wine and cocktails has allowed me to drastically cut my alcohol intake.

For example, people around me will often drink wine while eating lunch or
dinner. Or they might offer you a beer if you're coming in on a hot sunday
afternoon. Or if you're watching TV together. In all of these situations,
drinking hard liquor or asking for it would be strange socially speaking.
There are only a few occasions (before dinner with appetizers, after lunch as
digestive, while having "a" drink after work...) in which it's okay to drink
liquor and to be the only one doing so. And if you're invited, it would be
rude to ask for a lot of liquor from your hosts (because it's more expensive
than wine and they likely did not prepare for it anyways so the supply is
short).

IMO It's also easier to feel you're getting drunk with liquor, because it's
not as gradual as beer: when you stand up after having 3 or 4 drinks, it hits
you right away that you've had too much. So you know it's time to switch to
water.

~~~
brodouevencode
This is terrible advice.

~~~
ko-ko-ko
It would be if OP were an alcoholic which he clearly isn't.

OP does not mention dependence issues, his drinking is not even habitual and
the effects on his social life or personal health are minor. All the advice
about 12 step programs, lifestyle changes with exercising and teetotaling is
going overboard b/c that is clearly not what OP asked about.

Op wanted tips on how to drink "sustainably", I find that drinking light
alcoholic beverages is harder to control than hard liquor both for physical
and social reasons (more social pressure to drink "light drinks", more stigma
on "liquor")

~~~
brodouevencode
> It would be if OP were an alcoholic which he clearly isn't.

You don't know that, and can't be determined by a very abbreviated post.

